It had been years since the first time that I had entered a church, but there I was, long tie-dyed skirt and all, hopelessly out of my comfort zone. I had become too well acquainted with late night parties and reckless behaviors to spend my time in a place of worship, and I was anxious. I was trying to singlehandedly carry the burdens of confusion, sadness, guilt, and a long list of questions that I needed answered. I was crippled by my mistakes and failures, but too proud to admit that I couldn’t handle them alone. I had shut God out of my life long ago, and I had stopped believing that He even existed. I thought that life was meaningless, and that if God did exist, He existed only to condemn me. I thought there wasn’t enough mercy in this world for me.
Today I thank God that His mercy isn’t of this world.
Today I thank God that he met me right where I was, using a home-schooled, half-Jewish boy who wouldn’t stop talking about Jesus in order to win my heart back to Him. I thank Him because I would have never darkened the doors of a church if I hadn’t been invited by someone pretty bold, as it wasn’t exactly a secret that I was lost. I thank God that Pastor Barry’s sermon that day brought me to tears, and that I left that day realizing that there was still grace left for me. I thank God that He didn’t let me stop there, that He created a hunger for His word that nothing else could satisfy.
I thank God for January 9, 2014; the day that I gave my life to Christ…
… While sitting in the living room of the family who taught me about unconditional love, by loving me. They taught me about forgiveness and grace towards others, by forgiving me. They taught me that my identity is in Christ, and that my sin does not define me any longer. God used them to teach me and mold me into the woman I am now, but He didn’t stop there. God isn’t done with me yet, and He’s not done with you either.
I don’t know where you are in your walk with Christ, or if you have even considered beginning it, but I do know one thing: Jesus called us to love Him and to love others. We often wrestle with our purpose and what we’re supposed to do with our lives, but that’s it! And that’s why I have chosen to go, to follow God’s plan; to have His name heard across oceans and language barriers. I’m still not perfect, I’ll never be perfect, but I do know this: If you follow His call in your life no matter where it may take you, you’ll do things that you never believed you could do. Love you guys!
