I’m not going to lie. Cambodia was a struggle for me. Not only was it physically uncomfortable because of the heat, but I found myself becoming jealous of my teammates rather than encouraging them. My team was doing ministry at a Bible college in Phnom Penh-the capital city. I was jealous of the creativity they incorporated into the classes they taught or the team times they led, I was jealous of the confidence and authority they seemed to exude in front of the students, I was jealous of how quickly they learned everyone’s names, I was jealous of how disciplined they were with their time spent with the Lord. It didn’t take long for all of this stuff to bog me down, especially since I was already carrying with me the stresses of the day and the unpleasant feelings that always seemed to linger after certain encounters I had that month.
I fell into that nasty little trap of comparison and I began taking away my worth because of the worth I was ascribing to my teammates. Ridiculous, I know. I didn’t realize at the time that just because someone is talented at something doesn’t mean I’m not talented or can’t become talented at the same thing. Their value doesn’t lessen mine. They may have more experience in a certain area or they may have been growing in that area for a while, which is why they have become so good at it, but that doesn’t prevent my own growth. If anything, it should encourage my growth. Instead of focusing on all the things I didn’t have or the things I didn’t feel I had, I should have invited my teammates in to help me grow in those areas. That’s where I fell short that month.
Cambodia became what racers like to refer to as a “lost month” for me because of the time I lost growing with my team. There are many different reasons racers can have “lost months,” but mostly those months are filled with some sort of regret. I don’t want any more “lost months” because God didn’t call me to travel the world to miss out, but rather to grow with Him and as a daughter of Christ. I don’t intend to have any more “lost months” this year or the rest of my life. It’s kind of funny that I’m just now getting around to this blog as I sit inside a hotel in Lilongwe, Africa. I’m in a new season of my life and I can’t wait to see what the Lord has for me in Africa. There is a freshness in my soul that just wasn’t there in Cambodia, but before I get into any of that I will make sure to post my Vietnam blog (don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten that month). I miss you guys, but believe me when I say I can’t imagine being anywhere else than living life with my fellow racers around the world. Life is good! It’s really, really goo
P.S.: My next financial deadline is July 1st and I need to be fully funded by that time. I’m currently at $11,860 and I need to be at $16,250. Please help me finish the race by donating. You can do this by clicking the support me button.
