When I first found out that my team would be located three hours outside of the capital and away from civilization and that we would be with two other teams for the month, I wasn’t happy. I thought we were going to be stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do living with 10 other people in a tiny African hut. As it turns out, this has been one of my favorite months on the race so far. It is beautiful here. The name of the ministry is Eden Children’s Village and it is appropriately named. The piece of land my host and his wife bought is absolutely stunning. There are gardens and plants and flowers everywhere and a beautiful lake just down the dirt road with the African landscape as a backdrop. Don’t even get me started on the sunsets and the stars. I’ve never seen stars as bright as these ones before and a sky so expansive. It truly does look like what I imagine the Garden of Eden to have looked like.
It isn’t just the beauty that is so captivating here though. Kevin and Susan, an American couple from Indiana and my hosts for the month, are some of the most generous people I have ever met. They have been so welcoming and have gone above and beyond in making our teams feel right at home. Being here is almost like being back home. And the staff at Eden is amazing as well. Everyone is so friendly and it’s clear how much they love one another and how much they love Jesus.
During orientation our teams were told that there are many things we can plug into here at Eden and whatever we are drawn to is what we should spend our time doing. Some of the ministry options at Eden include working at the clinic, farming, painting houses, gardening, working at the library, sorting clothes, and working at the school. This month I’ve been spending my time working at the library. I love books so spending my time surrounded by them is like a dream. And I have absolutely loved getting to prepare the library for the local children. From the first day I started working there to the last it has changed so much. At first, it didn’t even really look like a library but now there are books and shelves galore and educational posters covering the walls. It looks just as good as, if not even better than, any school library I’ve ever seen and there’s something really neat about being a part of making that happen.
Needless to say, I’m going to miss it here. I’m going to miss Eden. I’m going to miss my hosts. I’m going to miss the ministry. This was a perfect way to end my time in Africa. But, don’t think that all of these things-the beautiful scenery, the super sweet hosts, the dream ministry-made this month easy. This month was anything but easy for me. For the past two months I’ve been in a pretty dry season with God and have struggled hearing what He is telling me (hence the title of this blog). I’ve done everything I can imagine the past two months to hear from Him: reading the Bible, praying, listening to worship music, having conversations with Him, and just sitting with Him in silence and waiting. I even went so far as to fast from talking for one whole day…twice. The first time I didn’t get anything because I was too distracted by ministry and people, but the second time I took a day off and sat with God for six hours. He revealed to me during that time that I am in a season of waiting.
When you go a long period of time without hearing from God it can be spiritually and emotionally exhausting, especially when you feel you’ve tried everything under the sun to get something from Him. Some days are easier than others. Some days I have a peace about it and know that it won’t last forever and other days I’m frustrated and confused as to why God is doing this to me. Then, on Tuesday night when I was at Bible study and we were praying I finally heard from God. I had a thought that definitely wasn’t my own. In the middle of praying I was thinking about how hard I’ve been pursuing God the past two months and I heard Him say to me, “That’s how hard I pursued you for 25 years and that’s how hard I continue to pursue you because I love you that much and you’re worth it to me.” Wow! I definitely wasn’t expecting to hear that and I definitely wasn’t expecting that to be the first thing He said to me after my period of waiting in silence. Then, a few days later during Friday morning’s devotional the topic was on waiting for God and how God was breaking the silence. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that devotional was specifically for me, and my teammates who know how I’ve been struggling the past two months were glancing in my direction because they knew it too.
One of the last things God revealed to me before my season of waiting was about my future. He was telling me that something BIG is coming my way just around the corner and that He’s going to use the gifts He’s given me and the passions I have to play a part in my future. Now that my season of waiting is over, He’s been revealing a few more things to me about what the next four months of the race are going to look like. I’m ending one season and about to start another. This next season of my life is going to involve me figuring out what I’m passionate about. I have likes and dislikes but I couldn’t really tell you what I’m passionate about. I also know He’s going to reveal more gifts that I have and He’s going to teach me about His love. I think one reason He had me wait in silence for so long was so that I could understand just how much He loves me. I can’t move forward with my life and I can’t use my gifts and passions the way He wants me to if I don’t believe He loves me.
My time here at Eden is coming to an end. My season of waiting in silence is coming to an end. I’m about to start something new and I really have no idea what to expect. I will be in a new continent and new countries with new ministries and new hosts and God will continue to teach me new things every day. I’m a bit nervous but also really excited. I’ll make sure to keep you updated on all the things He’s going to reveal to me in the upcoming months. Until then, take care and thanks for reading.
