So earlier today I was going to post another down-and-out blog because I am having so much trouble with support raising but I decided to wait. Tonight I went to a concert with some friends to celebrate one of my bff's birthdays. While there, I told her mom about the trip and was sorta disappointed that she wasn't more…excited for me (most people, even unbelievers think its noble). As I was driving home, I started thinking about a better way to explain the trip. Some people don't get what a missions trip is ("Is that a church trip?"). One of the things that I thought of was explaining that we are trying to bring hope to people (not just 'get em saved'). That's when it hit me: You can't give something you don't have. I can't expect them to have hope in seemingly hopeless situations when I can't even have hope in my current, far less severe situation. I have been so upset and worried about the money (and upset and worried about worrying). I had to admit this to God and re-commit this trip to him and the finances for it too.
This week I was convicted for not actually praying for the trip. I have prayed for the finacial aspect, but not the reason behind the trip. Not the people. I've decided that starting next week I am going to start praying for each country a week at a time like so many of my teammates have been doing. Please join me in this. Also pray that God will break my heart for his people and create in me a servant's heart (something I want very badly but struggle with greatly). Ghandi said for us to be the change we wanted to see in the world. I need to apply this to my life. If I want to give hope to the nations, I must first be filled with that hope. I know God is breaking me and working patience into my life (yes, I actually prayed for it). I know he is going to bring me low and humble me before he shows himself to be the great God he is. I am praying for God's grace in this situation. He says he won't put more on us than what we can handle through his grace. (the scary yet reassuring part being his grace covers pretty much everything!)
UPDATE: Right after I posted this, I went and checked my account again just because and two more donations had come through. I put one in and the other I knew was in there but I didn't know how much: $850! One of my friends from college donated that. I was (and am) floored. God is so good!
