It's three am here in Bangalore, India. I woke up in a hurry as if I need to be somewhere. Sitting in the dark, everyone in my room is sound asleep and I just lay here. I'm instantly wide awake now! My body is still in a different time zone. It has became a reality to me, I am now in India. After a long three weeks of chaos and an extra week of stressful traveling, I'm back on the mission field, back on the World Race. Thoughts of why did I leave home, why did I say yes God, my sister is gone, my sister is gone, my sister is gone, running through my mind.
– It was really difficult for me to get on my first flight out from Albuquerque. Saying bye to my family was heartbreaking but everything inside of me knew I had to get on that plane. I traveled from, Albuquerque to Dallas to New York then to Brussels then to Chennai, India then took a train to Bangalore, India. It sounds smooth, oh just traveled on through the world, NOP! That took three days, no sleep, no appetite, really loud crying babies on every flight and a stolen carry on.
I arrived to JFK airport in NYC on Tuesday evening after a five hour flight from Albuquerque. Someone stole my carry on from the overhead cabin on the plane. I was letting everyone go ahead of me and I eventually was the last person to get off the plane. I went to fetch my carry on only to find that someone took my bag right off the plane. I don't know if you remember when I first left to Romania in September my baggage was lost for two weeks so I thought I was wise and learned something from that experience. I packed all my important things in my carry one. Now all my important things are gone.
Honestly, I could and I should careless about material items but it's the fact that things just don't look like there getting any easier. But that's what I must share with you, reader. Why should things be easier in life? Why do we ask God why me, why this, why now? Who am I that I deserve any better? The real questions being asked should be; Jesus why do you give me so much, why do you love me so much, why do I still have life and life in abundance, why are you so good to me Lord? You have given and given and yes you have taken away but then you give after that. Why are you so faithful?
The past month, no the past year of my life has certainly been confusing and difficult. Yes, I have questioned my devotion to Jesus. Yes, I have been angry. Yes, I have had thoughts of giving up. I have cried out to Jesus; Give me a reason to sing Lord! Give me a reason to love and worship you. For some reason I thought He would answer me in form of something that would look like happy, joyful blessings.
Abba gave me a reason to sing; I have lost everything I have lived with nothing. Things and people have been stolen from me. I have lost my sister in a tragic way, I have seen the realities of this sad cruel world. I have smelt death, disease, sickness, poverty, hopelessness. I have been left confused with injustice around the world I have seen slavery, i have been left, rejected. In the middle of that I have seen Him. I have a reason to sing. I'm alive, I have love, I have hope, I have dreams, goals, and everything available to me through Jesus. I am here. I HAVE a reason to sing.
