One of my favorite things to do here in Targu, Mures is make friends in the city. Most of the young people speak English, and seem fairly excited about speaking with an American, so I always seem to have interesting days. During one of those jaunts around the city I met a girl named Irina. She and her co-worker were sitting outside of the cafe/bar/tiny casino(?) where they worked. They admittedly were excruciatingly bored that day, and welcomed this strange American who seemingly only talks about God…
Both were very open to the idea of God, in fact, I have yet to meet someone who has denied the existence of God. However, the eyes of my heart saw them getting further and further away from the One who wants to bring them life and hope. And with each despairing word from Irina’s mouth, my heart began to ache more and more.
You see Irina went to a school for four years to become a pastor. So she has plenty of head knowledge of the Bible. She won’t argue that God isn’t real, or that Jesus didn’t die on the cross for her sins…intellectually she can believe those as facts. But there is a disconnect in her soul.
The girl with the sad eyes has given up hope. In our first conversation her constant refrain was “I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if I work, I don’t care if I eat, I don’t care if the sun turns black…I just don’t care anymore.�
The youth in Transylvania are very similar. Most denounce Romania as corrupt, poor, and hopeless. They all talk of how there are no jobs, no money, and little happiness to be found. However, when you ask them what they want most in life, they all say relationships or family. I hear, “I know money won’t make me truly happy, I just want to have a family and live quietly with them.� Irina is no different. She doesn’t have lofty ambitions, all she wants is a family. And the boy she wanted to start that family with is prohibited from dating her because she is poor. And as that truth sinks in deeper and deeper Irina’s world crumbles to pieces. And she falls further into this bottomless pit of despair.
True love it seems, is what everyone is looking for. So what is true love and where can you find it? The youth of Romania are looking to each other for the answer, and instead finding misery. The same thing is going on in America and around the world. In the meantime, God has been teaching me a bit about true love these past few days. Why do nearly all humans have this longing to be loved? Whether I am in the U.S, Romania, or Africa, I always hear that what people want most is to get married.
This is the conclusion I have come to, true love is the greatest encounter one can experience on earth. So what is true love?
True love is to love someone completely, body, soul, and spirit. To want only the best for them, so much so that you would give your life for them. But not just your life, but your wants and desires that they might experience a fullness of life. A love that comforts, protects, and secures. A love that allows you to be exposed, vulnerable…naked. And yet feel no shame. No desire to hide. An unconditional love, without expecting anything in return, without WANTING anything in return. In a word, Agape…God’s love. This is why Christ calls himself the bridegroom and the church His bride. Why He tells husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church. This is what the marriage covenant is about, this is what we were CREATRED to do. To LOVE like Christ loves. And it is the most fulfilling, life-giving thing you can possibly do on earth.
I see this heartbeat inside of all humans longing to experience this. And instead of going to the One who made it all, the one who satisfies us all. They look to other broken humans, and they try to love in their own human strength. And for a time we experience a shadow of the glories of true love. But outside of the Holy Spirit, God living inside of you, we will never be able love like we were created to love. Which leaves us unsatisfied, bitter, and often times divorced.
So as I look into the eyes of despair, my heart begins to break. While she was dating that boy she was praising God every night. Thanking Him for bringing purpose and hope to her life. But now she blames Him for stealing away the one thing that gave her life meaning. “Why would He do this to me? Sure He “loves� me, but not the way that I want. I know what I need to make me happy, why can He not just give me that?� If children could only realize that in most cases parents actually do know best. And that in the case of our Heavenly Father…He always knows best.
Irina looks down, sorrow filling her face…
“I’m as lonely as a tree on the highway.�
