I’m not entirely sure how to say all of what’s on my mind today AND still do my dad any justice, but we’re just going to go for it and hopefully y’all will get a small glimpse into the man I have for a father!
My dad, Larry Ingalls, is a pastor and missionary and has dedicated his life to evangelize and disciple the men and women who serve in our military and their families. God used the very same ministry that he is now apart of to bring him to his knees before the Lord in repentance when he was a Marine back in the day. I wasn’t born until long after my dad had come to Christ and had left the military. So it took a lot longer for me to see and appreciate the man God has turned my dad into. The more I’d learned about my dad’s past the more I realized how real God truly is in order to make my dad who he is!
(Side-note: NEVER underestimate the power of your own testimony of coming to Christ.)
It also took me a while to understand my dad’s passion for the ministry he has with the military. I didn’t question it as a kid, I just didn’t know any better or any different growing up. All my life I’ve just been used to sharing my dad with the many soldiers, sailors, marines, airmen, etc. who walked through our front door. I was okay with that because as a result they became a part of my life as well.
My dad did not neglect me.
He did not forget where his priorities were with his family and ministry.
He did not fail to raise me and my sisters as a Godly father should.
He DID, however, have so many more “sons” and “daughters” than just me and my two sisters, and always will as a result of their mission. I don’t know if this was ever his plan when he went into ministry with the military, but it’s true nonetheless.
He and my mom became parents to a lot of single military folks over the years, and have made a huge impact on a lot of lives. They’ve had the opportunity to minister to and love on a lot of very successful people over the years, and to be honest… I didn’t feel like I was what they expected from me when I graduated from high school and the 2 or so years to follow that.
Now don’t get me wrong. This was not any kind of pressure that they put on me. This has nothing to do with anything they said to me or forced on me as I graduated. I did this to myself. I know my dad was proud of me, he didn’t fail to tell me that. I still however knew that there were many other young men who he mentored and discipled as well as me. He was always so impressed with them and the direction they would take their lives once they caught a vision for what God wanted them to do next. I was still struggling with what my purpose and direction was and didn’t have an inkling as to what I should’ve been doing.
After high school I didn’t go to college, I didn’t move out, I just worked. I was roofing houses everyday and that, to me, was pretty much my focus and purpose. I felt so defeated that I didn’t have it figured out. Like I didn’t have anything to bring to the table when it came to making my parents proud of my direction in life. So many times I’d introduce myself to knew friends of my parents and when they’d ask what I’m doing these days/what I want to do or pursue, all I’d have to say is that I’m just working for now and don’t know what I’m planning to do next. (Or at least make something up that sounded better than, “I have no clue.”) It just felt so insufficient for my parents to have to follow something like that up with, “We’re very proud of him and how close we get to be with him during this time.” (Close being, me living in their basement.)
But they did anyways. And my mistake for so long was not believing that they were telling the truth.
One day after coming home from work I walked down to my room which was just next to my dad’s office. Often times if his door was closed he was in a meeting, or on the phone so I’d walk by with out lingering so I didn’t eavesdrop on anything important. But this time I stopped. I heard my dad mention my name while he was on the phone with someone. He didn’t know I (let alone anyone else) was downstairs. What I heard next completely rocked my world. He said,
“I am so proud of what Daniel is doing with his life! Honestly, if he grew old and raised a family doing nothing but roofing houses for the rest of his life and attending the same church he does now I’d still be so incredibly proud of who he is becoming…”
… I don’t think I knew that was possible until that moment. How could he be proud of someone who had such little direction in his life? I pretty much just shut myself in my room and had to rethink everything I thought about how my parents viewed me. It was hard. I had for so long convinced myself of a lie that I so completely convinced myself was true.
All of a sudden I didn’t feel like I was being compared to anyone else in my dad’s eyes. I’ve felt that in real life with people close to me, and I realized that this was not the same thing. I’ve been compared to others plenty of times and come up short so much that I started doing it to myself more than anyone else around me. But all of a sudden I saw a pride and love from my dad that I know only came from my heavenly Father!
Even when my dad thought I wasn’t around, he could genuinely see what I was worth far better than I could AND genuinely tell others how proud he was of me. That was such a huge confidence booster for me! And the crazy part about all of this is that it ha only intensified over the years!!
I say all of this not to bring the focus on me, but to bring focus to the dad that I have AND the dad that many other folks have as a result of his ability to see people through the unhindered lens of Christs love! As a result, I have some amazing brothers and sisters that I am proud to call my own because I got to share my parents with them. At first it was out of necessity (I didn’t really have a say in the matter), but now it is out of joy that I see my mom and dad coming alongside others and loving them so selflessly. My parents will tell you this very same thing, and that is that their life is to always live out this verse: 1 Thessalonians 2:8,
“So we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.”
I write all of this down and ramble on about details that probably don’t concern any of you to say that I would not be who I am or where I am today if it weren’t for my dad. I would not be pursuing missions if it weren’t for my dad. I would not see people the way I see them, love people the way I can, or talk to people the way I do if it weren’t for my dad and being able to see him love, mentor, and disciple so many other people AS WELL AS me. My dad isn’t just MY dad. God has used him to spiritually father so many people.
If you are one of the people who can appreciate the man my dad has been to you and the ways he has loved you and reached out to you, please make a comment or send him a message saying thank you!! He has pursued this ministry with everything he has because God called him to it, not because it was the easiest way for him to raise and lead his family. He has fathered many, and as a result reflects how God is THE Father to many!!
So for THAT, I thank you dad. I love you to death and can’t express how much your sacrifice for our family has changed our lives for the better. You have worked very hard to set me, Christina, and Sarah up for success. You have done that well. We aren’t doing what the rest of the world would consider to be “living the American dream”, but we are doing what matters most to others and to God and we wouldn’t understand that if it weren’t for the ministry and world you chose to raise this family in! This next year I get to pursue ministry all over the world as a result of your love, leadership, and courage. Whatever happens next I want you to thank God for using you to make happen.
Happy Father’s Day!!
