Nuki, where are you?

Yesterday, my team and I went on an incredibly long walk with a new friend. He really wanted to show us the lake that so many Kosovians visit daily. So very happily, our team set out on this trek to the lake, not knowing that 20 minutes for him was actually an hour and a half for us – surprise!

We reached the lake with a huge sigh of relief, each of us overjoyed to be at our destination alive. This lake though – definitely not a lake, but a river that immediately reminded me of the creek my little brother and I would often bike to in order to catch crayfish and rock-hop for hours.

#instanthomesickness

As I’m scanning over this “lake,” glancing at my teammates to make sure they are all ok, and soothing my semi-aching feet in the water, God whispered a verse over my thoughts – “The river Kishon swept them away, the age-old river, the river Kishon. March on, my soul; be strong!” (Judges 5:21).

 

You see, within the past week, I have traveled across the world to an unfamiliar country, have been battling a head cold, attempting to find a “normal” with my team, have been communicating in broken English with Gjakovians, and undertaking the challenge of our ministerial focus for the month. Let’s just say it has been slightly more difficult to transition then I first expected. My comforts have been completely stripped of me within only 5 days of being on the mission field!

I am worn…my strength is failing.

When I am overwhelmed or feel stressed, the first things I usually find refuge in are singing, running, and writing. Well first, I lost my voice due to my head-cold which meant I could not sing = refuge #1 immediately gone. So obviously my solution was to go for a run…only problem is that running on the streets of Gjakova is not normal and possibly disrespectful to their culture = refuge #2 out of the question. At this point, my soul is freaking out at the thought of not having a place of comfort this month…a terrifying thought! So what is there to do but write, right? Well, in the midst of adjusting to all these new things, my body built-up a mountain of exhaustion that could not be ignored…there was no stopping the callings of sleep when the moment came to rest. As much as I ached to write, I physically could not pick up my pen to form words let alone force my mind to articulate my thoughts properly = refuge #3 destroyed.

Then a brief desire to just be a baby crossed my mind – someone could feed me, I would have a blanky, AND a nuk! My life would be totally complete…haha, infancy was amazing…but let’s be serious, independence is pretty great too and I didn’t even have that.

And my soul cried out in defeat, tears streaming down my face, with no more solutions but to find refuge in my God. Which is what He truly wants from all of us anyways.

So when the verse from Judges drifted through my head at the river, immediate comfort drenched my soul – for God had heard my cry (I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, He turned to me and heard my cry. – Psalm 40:1).

He never breaks a promise.

Yes, He took away my worldly comforts, but in the process, He reminded me of where the ultimate place of comfort is: IN HIM! He will always know exactly what I need and not even I can say that for myself. He has swept away my enemies before my eyes and has called me into endurance – to run with perseverance, with great faith, knowing that in my determination His Kingdom will be glorified.

While I was thinking about all of this, yet another piece of scripture seeped into my thoughts…the promises of God flooding into my heart all at once!

“When they were but few in number, few indeed, and strangers in it, they wandered from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another. He allowed no man to oppress them; for their sake he rebuked kings: Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.” (1 Chronicles 16:19-22). And my soul had officially arrived at a place of comfort once again.

The months will bring trials, they will be challenging and uncomfortable – we will be foreigners in every land we step foot in this year, yet God has already paved the way for us – we are His anointed ones that He protects fiercely, that He loves unconditionally. I may not have my usual methods of finding comfort this year, but I do know with ALL my heart, that God will always be my biggest source of comfort! He proved it to me yet again this week when my independence was stripped from me – my coping mechanisms will never be enough. They will always fail because God created us to find complete satisfaction and peace in Him alone. You will never find it anywhere else. And I am ok with that because God promises He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). – I am totally covered.

He has commanded us to “march on – to be strong – to be courageous – to have faith – to trust Him – to be joyful in adversity – to love as He loves.” They are tough commands…hard to follow with the correct mindset, honestly. But I have found when God is your only source of comfort, when He is ALL you have – He begins to transform your heart, soul, and mind to a place where you desire to do absolutely anything for Him just so you can experience the unbelievable comfort of His love and protection washing over you…willing to do anything so that others can experience that same thing!

It’s a beautiful and precious gift from our Heavenly Father – we are so underserving of His grace and mercy, yet He aches to shower us with boundless blessings…He ACHES for us to run to Him, with Him and FOR Him!

HE ACHES for US – sinners from birth.

And this is what I feel here in Gjakova….the aching, longing desire of our Fathers heart for His children to return to Him. The heartbeat of God pulsing with every lost soul I pass, with every discarded child on the streets, with every poorly dressed woman looking for attention in the wrong places, with Ramadan well underway here…His heart beats loud and heavy for Gjakova – there is darkness rooted deep within the streets of this city.

And He aches for His children to return to Him.

This is our gift this month – to spread the light upon the streets of Gjakova, to preach the Good News to everyone we encounter, to be His witnesses. We are called into a beautiful story of His Kingdom defeating the darkness that traps so many.

He has already won the battle, but war still ensues.

It will continue until Christ returns.

So with confidence, we march on!

Pray for our team as we boldly proclaim His Name among the streets of this city!

My home.