This morning I woke up in a full size bed with high thread-count jersey cotton sheets, and a collection of 11 pillows tucked around, beneath, and on top of me.
Each night, as I break down my bedding and peel back my comforter, I begin to build a snuggly nest of fluff and fleece into which I will situate myself at the center. Each pillow has a specific placement. I shove the body pillows down between the sheets toward the bottom of my bed, and tuck the standard size pillows in a perimeter at the top. I incorporate the three decorative pillows, declaring them fully functional, beyond just adding flare in a daytime display. The pillow on which I rest my head is bowed in a perfect curve atop the foundation of the small pillows. And, as I lift all the layers of blankets above my body as I bounce my way into the center of the mattress, I add the final pillow on top of me for added weight and security. Finally, I pull all of the sheets and duvet above my head, and sculpt the shape around my head so that only my face is exposed. I feel protected and cozy. Now, I can take a relaxing deep breath and ride the exhale into drifting sleep.
As I lazily rested in a morning mound of clouds and cushion, just after naturally exiting a state of dreaming, I began to think about the luxury in feeling comfortable.
I felt comfortable. I am comfortable. Outrageously comfortable. I just banked a solid collection of REM cycles. With a heap of blankets and pillows surrounding me, a window cracked open overnight to welcome the crisp Autumn breeze, and a fan in the corner circulating air and adding a gentle background hum, I realized that I would soon and certainly be without any lavish accessories for sleeping- or any part of my life routine. For 11 months.
I hugged one of the body pillows closer to me.
Nothing about The World Race feels comfortable. Nothing. Pursuing a nontraditional life path. Stepping into an unknown. Accepting that I will be missing out on a year’s worth of life events and experiences in my home life. Trying to coordinate a packing list to live out of a backpack for nearly one year. Prepare to live and work as a team with a group of people I have never before met.
…Requesting support from others through encouragement and prayers and donations. Oh gosh- asking for donations. Asking for donations. Asking for donations. Talking about donations. Recording donations. Thinking about donations. Praying about donations. Ugh. Way uncomfortable.
…Trusting that GOD is truly leading me into an answer to my prayer. Releasing my desire to control so that HE can. Believe the LORD will provide. Preparing my heart to align with GOD’s through serving and loving around the world.
…Recognizing that my sleeping arrangements for 11 months will likely involve only one pillow. One pillow. No more nest. No more fortress of luxury. No extravagant sheets and plush pillows and room-temperature control. No more evening routine of comfort construction. One pillow. One mattress pad. Yes, I do believe that there is absolutely nothing comfortable about The World Race.
But, that wasn’t my prayer. I didn’t ask GOD to make me feel comfortable. I prayed a big and bold prayer. I prayed to be led to where I will most glorify HiM, where I will be able to be used to my full capabilities to serve HiM. And I do believe that GOD answered through The World Race. I will forfeit control and comfort to be completely open to the impact that I can have on the world through loving and serving; to be open to the impact that the world can have on me.
And that is worth facing so many layers of discomfort.
It is certainly worth the sacrifice of sleeping with just one pillow.
