The desires of His heart!!
At the begginning of January 2011 we started the new year with my church (The Bridge Church,Irvine) doing a 21 day fast. My pastor had been doing a series about Dreams – I started to think about what my dream was. He spoke about the scripture to have a God listening heart (1 Kings 3v9) I decide right then that this was going to be my paryer throughout the whole fast! What more could you need than to have a God listening heart – to know your exact true calling that God has wanted for you! I started to pray that no longer would it be my own desires, but that His desires would become my desire! within the month of January my dreams that I had when growing up and as a young teenager of becoming a missionary came flooding back- I realised that God was telling me to go for him! I got very excited because all I have ever wanted to do was travel the world serving God- but where do I go? when do I go? who do I go with? This bacame my next prayer – that the lord would show me the answers to all my questions. I started to search the internet to see what different options there were out there – I typed in "christian mission trips" the first thing that appeared to me was "The World Race" I clicked to see what it was all about and started to read into it…. My heart started to pound and I could feel God moving right through me – I watched the promo video and I started to cry – I knew that this is what God wanted for me! I started to pray about it I also looked into different options and different organisations out there – all of them seemed great but none of them made me feel the way I felt about the World Race. I was so worried about the cost of the world race – "how was i going to get $15,500" was my constant question in my head.
During this time I applied to go and volunteer for Glasgow City Mission. Glasgow City Mission is a christian organisation that works with the homeless, addicted and prostitutes we feed over 100 people every night and bring them the message of Christ! Volunteering for the mission changed everything – It was an eye opener and a heart opener! Never have I ever felt so moved to love people that were just so lost! I started to fall in love with these people more and more every week! I realised God was moving through me and I was seeing a glimpse of them the way God sees them! This confirmed that this was the kind of work the lord had created me for – The kind of work he created us all for! I realised that if we are not trying to save people then we are not filling our purpose! I started to lose interest in all the worldly things that block out what is really going on.. (facebook,technology,pretty clothes,popularity…) the list goes on – I realised then what was the point in it all if it was not ever going to bring the kingdom of God! I am not saying these things are wrong but i am saying that sometimes we are so caught up in it all that we forget the real meaning we are here, we forget our true purpose and calling in life!
I was sitting in my work office one day and put on the world race website I was reading one of the racers blogs and everything was touching me – I started to cry because I so badly wanted to go! I watched the "so I go" video and I could feel the Holy Spirit upon me – I started to say out loud "I Trust You" i must have repeated it about 10 times and i felt God saying to me " Then what are you waiting for Dani?? Trust Me!!". I went home and started to pray! I spoke to my family and realised that I had to apply! You can go for so long ignoring something or putting it off waiting for someone to tell you to go but when God starts telling you to go and starts telling you to trust him – when he starts to break your heart for the people who are suffering then its time to obey him and go!!! So that night I applied.
This is all an exciting and scary journey for me and I know this is going to be a time of complete trust and learning to have crazy faith! Everytime i start to doubt I hear his voice saying "trust me" and thats what i have got to do, I need to learn to put all of my trust in him not in people!
"God's spirit is on me; he's chosen me to preach the message of good news to the poor, sent me to announce pardon to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to set the burdened and bettered free, to announce "This is God's year to act" ...luke 4v18-19
God Bless
Love Dani xx
