Being home from squad leading almost three months has cause me to reflect a bit on my time away.
If you have asked me, “How was it?” you would know that squad leading was the best season of my life thus far. It is so incredibly special to me. Having the opportunity to live life alongside 50 individuals, and watch them learn and grow- there is nothing like it. And this life that we lived was not easy. We saw each other at our best and at our worst. I was woken up in the middle of the night multiple times by individuals asking me to pray for them. I stayed up all night with those who were sick and to just love on them, because being sick away from home is never fun.
The best way to describe my feelings for O-squad is they are my kids. Yes, I know that sounds weird because I am their peer. But I have a fierce mama bear love over each member of O-squad. Pouring out everything you have for 5 months straight (with no breaks), will do that.
The Lord gave O-squad to me, and I will forever be grateful. They have changed my life.I cannot begin to express how proud I am of them. Seeing how they grew in the five months that I was with them, was probably the coolest thing ever. They dug into the deep stuff- the hard stuff. Things that people don’t like dealing with. They have, and are continuing to face it with Jesus and Jesus is healing them and molding them into the truest form of themselves. That’s the reason I decided to squad lead. Month 10 of my Race, the Lord gave me a calling, “to empower the young adult generation, and help them become who Christ has made them to be.” I call my time as a squad leader a success because I’ve seen each person on O-squad step further into their identity as a son or daughter of God.
Leaving them at the end of my five months was probably one of the hardest things to do. We were in the middle of the LAX airport. They had already said good-bye to my other two co-leaders. And I was balling my eyes out. They lined up one by one and gave me a hug and we each exchanged a few words. Ugh…saying good-bye to 45 people you love so dearly is rough. I thought I was ready to leave them. I knew I was only called to five months on the field, but man….when it happens. It feels like your heart is being ripped out.
Like I said I knew I was called to five months on the field with O-squad, but my relationship with them will never end. They have become my family. I will always be there for them in whatever way they need. I talk with many of them frequently and FaceTime to catch up on how they are doing. I guess that’s the beauty of discipleship. It never ends.
Earlier this month I was able to travel to Malaysia to see them for their month 7 debrief. Man, was that good for my heart. I arrived to their hostel around midnight and I was able to wake a few people up from sleep to say hi! They loved it. haha. It was such a cool experience, because 1. I was just able to be with them, but 2. seeing how the Lord had worked in them those two months I hadn’t been with them. The Lord is beginning to show them what steps to take after the Race is over. It was so great to hear the dreams the Lord has put on their hearts.
I also have the opportunity to meet up with O-squad one more time for their final debrief in Africa, before they come back to the States! I can’t tell you how much it would mean to me to finish this 11 month journey with my squad. There is something very special having someone there who has done it before you say to you, “Well done!” while wrapping you up in a big hug.
I know it meant so much to me to have my alumni squad leaders, Laura and Amanda, at my month 11 debrief. It was great closure for me. They started this journey with me and it was so good to end it with them. I owe a lot to Laura and Amanda. They pushed me deeper into the Lord, they encouraged me in my gifts. Gifts I didn’t realize I had, and they showed me how to use them for God’s glory. I hope to have that type of impact on O-squad.
In order to do this though, I need your help! I am in need of $1,500 by August 31st for a plane ticket to their debrief. That’s 15 people with a one-time donation of $100 or 30 people at a one-time donation of $50. If you can do less, or if you can do more- whatever you can do, it helps!! Help me finish this season well with O-squad!
I owe a lot to you my supporters. For consistently standing beside me in prayer and through financial means. I am so grateful to all of you. Thank you for loving me so well!
