I grieved the Holy Spirit. I did not obey His prompting.
He told me to go pray for him. I heard Him whisper in my ear saying, “Go. I want to heal that man.” The small tumor that painfully swelled over his left eyebrow captivated my attention. I asked myself, “Was that really the Lord?”. I thought, “God, if you really wanted to heal that man, why didn’t you prompt any of my teammates?”. He replied, “Because I want to use YOU!”
Me? I can’t do that. Uncertainty held me captive. So I rationalized Him away and kept on walking…
I walked away from an opportunity to usher in God’s glory and possibly add a name to the Book of Life.
As I reflect on this, I am convicted and disappointed with myself. But I am thankful for my Lord’s omniscience. He knew what I was going to do, but He still gave me the opportunity. He used my disobedience to reveal doubt I have in myself; fear of what others thought and a fear He would not come through.
There are characteristics in my life that still do not reflect Christ and need to be cut off. Though this may hurt, I am looking forward to the faith He produces in me.
