I’m back and this time reentry has looked completely different from the last. I left my community of 40 some people with only a few bags and the Holy Spirit. At this point in my journey, the Lord has appointed me to be in the States for a short time and invest into my surroundings. Though I thought adapting back to the western culture would have been easier, this second reentry is something different than I have ever experienced before.
I looked at coming home this past January as another month of ministry. Having the comfort of my bed and a chance to see family with a plus. The truth is, I feel like I’m reentering for the first time. I have been struggling with distractions at every corner. I don’t know what to do with myself half the time. There are so many options in front of me that if you left me for hours and came back, you would see I’m stuck as if I was cemented to the floor. I have seen people who have been ruled by their anxiety and people who are so stressed I’m surprised they’ve been able to accomplish most things.
This week as some of you know is, “Holy week”. It’s a time to celebrate and invite people into what Jesus did. Which is die on the cross to cover our sins, defeat death, and raise on the third day so we may die and live again. I tell you what, it’s a great time to be apart of something so special is this. Though I haven’t been celebrating all that much. I have been consumed with stress and anxiety. I woke up this morning from a spiritual attack that was on me last night. The enemy was surrounding me and he was attempting to consume me. This week has been a week that I cried more than I can admit. A thought arose in my mind. What was Jesus thinking or struggling with the week before He was hung on the cross? I’m sure the enemy was vicious, trying to give offers to Jesus to make Him turn away from God. Trying to place doubt in God that He might not show up. That He would forsake Jesus. What Jesus did was NO little thing. Even though Jesus was God he was also human. In communing with His Father the enemy was still prowling around Him. (John 12:27-29) I believe that even in my struggle and trial, Jesus personally knows what I’m feeling. There is nothing new under the sun. (1 Corinthians 10:13) I’m not the first person to feel this way. I bet Jesus was struggling with the same things.
As I sat in my bed today and reflect I pulled up the verse of the day and it was exactly the words I needed to hear (Isaiah 25:8). Jesus has already defeated the grave and has been given new life. I believe this is the start of something quite special. I believe the Lord has let my feel a little weight of that cross He died on. In order that I remember to keep my eyes on Him at all times. I’m continued to be reminded of His goodness. I’m beyond ecstatic to celebrate the raising of my King tomorrow. That He defeated sin and death itself so I could live life and live it to abundances (John 10:10). Please pray for me during to transition time, for strength, wisdom, and clarity on direction.
Also look out for my up and coming blog about what this year looks like for me!!! Thank you for reading and God bless!!!
