I have to give my props to Buzzfeed. Their really outdoing themselves on the various articles aimed to empower women. The article titles such as, “Why Dating the Girl Who’s Been Single Her Entire Life is Actually Ideal”, “Why a Broken Hearted Woman is Stronger”, or my favorite, “A How-to-guide on Dealing With an Alpha Female”. I have to admit I am not sure these are actual article titles but I can say with confidence I’ve seen articles that speak on these topics. One article did have a title alluding to “alpha females” and how to deal with them. The idea of an “alpha female” made me pause. What the heck did that mean? All I could picture was a woman who trained her house full of dogs really well. Rationally, though, I know what is trying to be portrayed with this title and I know quite a few women who could be placed in that category by outsiders looking in. Yet, every woman who would be placed in that category isn’t that way by the glory of their own personality and behavior. In fact, I’ve seen them broken, scared, and unsure.
I’ve been told countless times in my life that I am strong, independent, able, and brave. These are all words I would personally use to describe someone who is a leader, or “alpha”. Though I would never use them to describe myself. Yet, I’ve noticed these words have been more frequently thrown at me since I decided to do The World Race. The ones saying these words to me absolutely meant them as compliments and I take them as such. Shoot, in the moment, I allow them to fed my ego. But it doesn’t take long before God gently reminds me of the truth. I am not strong, He is. I am not able to do the good work on my own, but He makes me able. I am 100% not brave, but God takes my fear and surrounds me with encouragers to help me along. And above all I am not independent. (The word my mother would use to describe this is stubborn. That description would be accurate.) But I pray earnestly and at length most nights that God will not allow me to be independent in my work. I pray I never have to be out there doing it alone without His help or the help of others.
At one point in my preparation for The Race I became uneasy with my own capabilities. I didn’t feel I was the “alpha” I needed to be to be successful on this mission. And I’m not. But God is. In Kisses from Katie, a book by Katie Davis describing her ministry in Africa, there’s a quote that says,
“People from my first home say I’m brave. They tell me I’m strong. They pat me on the back and say, ‘Way to go. Good job’. But the truth is, I am not really brave; I am not really very strong; and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am simply doing what God has called me to do as a person who follows Him. He said to feed His sheep and He said to care for ‘the least of these’, so that’s what I’m doing, with the help of a lot of people who make it possible and in the company of those who make my life worth living.”
My reason for doing The Race isn’t because I have confidence in my own abilities to travel to eleven different countries and convert everyone to Jesus. The opposite, really. Katie’s quote describes how I feel about this journey perfectly. Jesus died on the cross for me, for the forgiveness of my sins. The very least I can do is listen to what He is calling me to, so that others can hear the Truth. It will be hard and I will fail a lot. But my God wont.
So no, I in no way feel I am an “alpha female”. That is way too much work and effort. Though, I do serve a God I can call not only Alpha but Omega as well. And I’m pretty stinking excited to see what He is laying out ahead for us on this journey.
