Wow this year journey–this chapter has come to a close. There are no words to adequately decribe the fulfillment in my heart of living in a dream come true. I know this is only the beginning and a launching pad for my future. I knew the day I got saved I was to travel the world and tell people about this awesome Love that transformed me. And month by month in each country with a different race of people looking at their faces as I proclaimed the Love of God was surreal. Like I wrote in previous blogs, the times I would be in a moment with a person or a group of people I was ministering to and would have flashbacks of times of prayer (deep groanings and travailings and crying out to God) years ago in my prayer room when I had no clue what I was praying for as the Spirit of God would take up with me as I yielded to those expressions of Holy Spirit and in the moment I was standing in nations across the world looking into the faces of these people–He would flash me back to those times of prayer and say, “this is what you were praying for that time” or “that’s who you were praying for that particular time.” And in that moment of revelation when I could see that I was standing in the fruit of those prayers my heart would be so overwhelmed I would weep and have heart melting praise attacks. Wow this life….the adventure when following Holy Spirit!! Nothing compares. Nothing fills. It’s a whole new world!!
The Grace in my life this year was so supernatural. I experienced His empowerment like never before. Things that would normally bother me it was like I didn’t even notice. For example some of the dirty and uncomfortable places that I slept in–me being a clean freak–somehow it was unnoticeable and normal and worth it. Sleeping in rooms, hostels and on sleeper trains with strangers and even old men in their whitey tighties, where usually I would have been scared–somehow I wasn’t afraid and knew I was safe and going to be ok in my Father’s arms.
Sleep deprivation travel days lasting up to three days, no showers. Not knowing where you will lay your head and at times sleeping on the bus because there was no place to lay your head, getting close to people only to leave the next month, the list goes on, but His Grace made it so easy, so unnoticeable that I was in awe of His Peace in these circumstances. I felt like wonder women and was aware of the super powers God has given me.
And it was all worth it, ohhh because the people are so worth it!! The salvations, the healings, seeing people come closer to God. It’s all worth it!! The Love He has to reach people far surpasses any uncomfortable, any awkward situation. I would do it all over again!! And I am doing it again! I found part of my destiny in these countries God has put in my heart and now I’m going back!!
My assignment on this Worldrace was different than many others. While some came on this trip because they were searching, some trying to find themselves, some looking for adventure, some looking to be closer to God, some even running from God–mine was a bit different which in many ways made this trip challenging.
I had been praying for years prior of where He wanted me as far as the nations. The “Go” has been in me since I was saved and after years of training, and developing my character in those Joseph’s pit experiences I got to a point where I knew it was time to walk in what God has put in my heart, walk in those dreams. So for a couple years prior to Worldrace my prayers were lifting up the next steps in my life. I saw the nations, but I didn’t see how or when. So many nations which one to go to? How do I get there? So I just continued to lift it up and pray in the Spirit over it (yielding to His expressions over it knowing that Romans 8:26-27 was taking place–the Spirit of God praying out the will of God for my life.) More and more He had me take steps toward this direction before I even heard about the Worldrace.
God said, “sell your house” when I didn’t even have a place to live or any kind of direction to rent or buy another house. Well to the natural mind that sounds crazy!! I didn’t tell anyone that I didn’t have a place to live. I just followed God. Once I sold the house without knowing the next step–Housesitting jobs came in where I was getting paid to stay at huge houses for money 2-3 weeks out of the month because all my cleaning clients were traveling. And other times I just slept over friends’ houses who usually loved having me, but they didn’t all know I didn’t have a place I was actually living. My close client let me rent a closet to keep my clothes, but they wouldn’t charge me so I just told people I was renting a room. They just didn’t know it was only a closet… lol. I purposely didn’t want people to know my situation because I didn’t want my situation to manipulate people. Meaning I didn’t want people to be moved by my needs.
So many people are moved by needs, but God is not. And I see so many manipulate by letting others know their needs hoping that that person would be emotionally moved to give. Ask me how I know–I used to do it so I make it a point not to. I will let people know what I’m doing, but never in a needy way. God is able and He will send ravens if need be. We can trust Him and we don’t need to pull on people. And for this particular time I needed it to be raw, straight from God knowing that my hands didn’t touch it.
The other reason I didn’t tell many people is because I didn’t need everyones’ opinion in my life while I was praying out the plan of God which usually doesn’t make sense. I knew all the peoples’ voices and different opinions could cause confusion while I was making the biggest decision in my life and I needed clarity big time at that time and to guard my ears.
It wasn’t until after the house was sold and my furniture was stored that a few weeks later I heard about the Worldrace. I was sitting next to my pastor in church while a girl was called up to the pulpit to tell us she was going to 11 countries in 11 months and the Spirit of God leaped inside of me and literally felt like a sucker punch in my belly and I heard, “that’s it!!”
My mind immediately shut it down, “there is no way!! Don’t even think about it.” But I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I knew this was my prayers coming into manifestation. I didn’t spout to everyone what I heard, but when I knew that I knew, I told my closest and those who are mentors. They all confirmed. And within five months I was flying to Southeast Asia!! Wow!!
To sell all and leave all to follow God’s dream in my heart and make Him known among the nations. Surely I was born for this!!
The unforeseen challenges…
Because my assignment was different then many others on this trip it caused tension, division and rejection with some. My mind was set like flint, I knew what my assignment was and I had to stay focused and people don’t always understand the discipline and why I live like I do. I wasn’t expecting the pushback from people that I got. I thought everyone had the same focus and beliefs, but they didn’t. My pastor always warned me that people won’t always celebrate your relationship with God and ohhh how I heard his voice saying this in some tight situations!!
It was all good though!! It caused some reactions of attitude and defense mechanisms to show up in me so I could deal with them. Ultimately God teaching me not to justify myself which I did a lot out of fear. And walking in freedom from the fear of man. A great revelation came when a pastor in Romania said, “let people judge you.” Wow! And Holy Spirit reminds me that as long a you burn for Jesus it will always provoke a religious spirit and the religious spirit is that which always judges and that I would never be able to stop people from judging so stop trying. They will read you wrong, and accuse you like they did to Jesus. That Spirit which entraps and is always looking for you to fall.
My only responsibility is to live with my heart right before God. If people read me wrong and accuse me it’s ok. God knows.. They did it to Jesus.
At times there was absolutely no one I had to confide in or talk to being without wifi to contact my pastors and mentors and having my team literally against me. (Meaning some have confessed they were–so it’s not a wrong perception thing–it’s fact) However God has done some major restoration and reconciled those relationships. Thank God!! I’m just letting you in some things I had to face without getting too detailed! I’m being vulnerable with with what I had to walk through. I have learned though rejection from man is so worth the deeper intimacy with God. What a sweet spot it is when you have no one to look to, but Jesus!! Mmmm…how it was always supposed to be…
I have learned to be content in every situation and to embrace every moment. To choose to find God in everything simply because you choose to look at Him and when your eyes are on Him you don’t see the present circumstance, mmm…. you see Him. Oh wow what a Place to live in!! When people are complaining, magnifying the negative you really do end up living in a cloud of bliss in His Peace when you are high above the present affliction, but ohhh once your gaze gets off of Him and you look at your trial–it’s not fun. His Peace is what keeps my mind, His joy is what keeps me strong, His love is what keeps me overwhelmed in awe over every little thing (which isn’t little at all) that He does.
I have learned to let people judge me, accuse me and to trust God so I wouldn’t have to defend myself. I have learned the fear of man is the greatest snare. I have learned to not allow someone’s negative mood to affect me, but to just enjoy myself in everything. Being a man pleaser is a miserable life. We can’t make them happy. It’s a choice they choose to not keep their minds on God, they choose to look at the negative. Only God can change the hearts of people. Surely He can use us to soften people and influence them but ultimately He is the one if they choose it. I have learned you don’t really know people until you live with them and you don’t really know yourself until you live with others haha! I can float on a cloud when I’m by myself with God. But thrown into living with people especially that don’t believe like you and at times resist you it will show you up.
I have learned even more now how important my values and beliefs will be for finding the right husband. People think they want to get married to certain people, but if your values, beliefs and vision don’t line up and I will go as far to say your personalities–it will be a disaster!! Seems some people marry the attraction, the chemistry, the affection, but if you abstain from all of that and see if you gel personalities and friendship.
For example if they remind you of your bestest friend the one you have everything in common with, the one you gel with and understand and seem to have the same personality that you just fuel eachother. When your together you amplify one another. And you’re so confident in the relationship that you can communicate everything with and call each other out. That is who you want to do life with. Sorry on my soapbox but I learned so much in this year living with people with totally different personalities and beliefs!! I just don’t buy the whole opposite attracts thing.
Anyway so here I am at the close of an amazing chapter of my life, a moed. A door, an entrance to my destiny an unlocking of the dreams and a catapult into my future. Worldrace was a gateway, a door, a channel, an entrance God used to what is next. As of now I plan to finish running around Europe with a friend, visit a cousin and visit some of my dearest friends in Northern Ireland (shout out to Lee and Lynsey) who have walked with me on this journey all year long not only supporting me spiritually by constantly sending video clips and podcasts, prophetic words and encouragement to strengthen me in the Spirit, but have supported me emotionally by giving me a place to be vulnerable and talking about the hard stuff. Ahh I love the community of people God has given me. Covenant relationships for life!!
I will hit down in the states sometime in September and will plant myself for a few months to finish my book!! That’s what I’m speaking that I’m done with my book by January and my writing can help fund my missions because I plan to be back in Zimbabwe this January for a few months with my host I worked with this past year. So be praying for me this year lots of things going on!! God did a lot of networking and connecting me to some amazing hosts that now are not only dear friends, but we consider eachother family. There’s no way I could of made these connections without God channeling me through this channel of the Worldrace. Exciting to see the plan of God continue to unfold!!!
I thank God for AIM-this ministry for literally sending us out with no authority physically with us but trusting us to figure it all out in God, and to trust us to live together and be responsible. Amazing!! I love it. I have learned to hear the voice of God at a whole new level and follow His leading without being constantly dependent on what a leader says. Don’t get me wrong I’m firm believer of having authority over me!! Just saying!
And thank you to all of you for all the support, spiritually, emotionally and financially!! I couldn’t have walked this without the amazing army of people God has put in my life to cheer me on and gird me up!! You all are the best!! We are stronger together!!
Love you so much!! Big hug from me!!
