Slowly but surely I found myself getting irritated. It’s Christmas and I’m getting annoyed over sightseeing plans. Really, Daina? Really? The worship begins and I just shake it off when all of a sudden I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
Humility. You need more of it.
Well that hurts. I sit there and think about this, as tears run down my cheek, “But Lord, I always prefer them. I always do what everyone wants.”
But why do you do it? For me or for you?
“Lord, I’ve nothing to gain. I do it to grow closer to you.”
Then keep doing it. And be humble about it. My Son never thought of himself.
I’m suddenly overcome with images of him–laughed at, spit at, carrying the cross, dying. Never once did he think of himself. I couldn’t take sitting there any longer; I knew this was my moment to stand–both figuratively and literally. I move to the back of the room where I stood for moment before falling to my knees. “Lord, I don’t want to think of myself anymore. I want all that I do to be for your glory, to draw closer to you, to draw others closer to you. Humble me, oh Lord, so that whenever I do something for others not an ounce of me remains. It’s all for your glory. It’s all for your name. Humble me, Lord. I surrender myself wholly to you.”
With that I sit up, wipe the tears from my eyes and am ready to whole-heartedly praise my King. The next song starts and so do the tears
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord
Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord
And He shall lift you up, higher and higher
And He shall lift you up
“Lord you are so good. Crazy, hilarious, but so good.” I quickly suck up the tears and join in singing as we move into the chorus of the next song
How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great
How great is our God
I don’t even have time to gather my thoughts about the irony of this all before Heather begins to pray. “…We know we’re weak. Continue to humble us…”
Lord, I thank you for the way you speak to me. The way you won’t let me settle for impatience, petty annoyance, anything less than who I should be. I thank you, Lord, for the way you’re constantly pushing me to walk in your Spirit and Truth. Thank you for opening the eyes of my heart and allowing me to see you in situations and circumstances I never thought possible, for allowing me to learn and grow in the most unexpected times. Thank you Lord that for this Christmas, you gifted me with humility. May you take it and seal it deep within my heart. May all that I do always and only be done for your glory and your glory alone.
