My name is Daina and I am a Catholic. I have to make a confession and say, it’s not always easy being Catholic on the Race.
I’m more or less the lone ranger when it comes to Catholics here. I did find one partner in crime and there’s always more who were baptized Catholic, but when it comes down to it, I’m the squad Catholic. By country 5, it’s really no secret anymore. It wasn’t a secret to begin with but well, I guess some people just didn’t know if they didn’t really know me. As a Catholic, sometimes I notice things others probably don’t. Comments that get made, misconceptions that exist, generalizations that occur–I usually just brush them off because I know it goes both ways. I mean, aside from 2 years in Intervarsity Christian Fellowship, this is really my first time around non Catholics so I know I’ve held the same kind of judgments against them and, in all honesty, I have a hard time not judging other Catholics so really, I don’t hold anything against anyone. In fact, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being around everyone is that most judgments stem from misunderstandings. I knew going into the Race I was going to do my fair share of educating people on what Catholics do and don’t believe and breaking down some of the preconceived notions that have built up barriers for people and I also knew that the reverse would happen and my mind would be blown away as I learned about the different gifts of the Spirit and such that the Catholic Church doesn’t teach much about. What I didn’t expect though is how much my beliefs would be solidified yet changed simultaneously.
I’m a Catholic. One thing multiple people have told me is that by the end of this trip, I probably won’t use that term to describe myself anymore. I simultaneously agree and disagree. Here’s why.
Many people would classify me as a Catholic because of the things I believe in. I believe in the transubstantiation, a concept unique to Roman Catholics. I believe it’s perfectly fine to ask for saints’ intercession (not to be confused with worshiping saints and bypassing God in asking Him for your needs in addition to asking for intercession but that’s a completely different topic). I believe in utmost respect and reverence for the Virgin Mary. I am completely pro-life meaning I do not believe in abortion, war, death penalty, euthanasia, or even birth control.
While I do believe all those things, and consider myself a Catholic, I often say incredibly devout Catholics would probably say I’m no longer a Catholic or at the least that I’m falling off the path. This would mostly be because I don’t agree with the Church on everything. I think perhaps my biggest problem with the Church, as of late, is recognizing ourselves as Catholics above Christians. I feel we are first and foremost Christians, united on the basis of our belief in Christ and whether someone is Catholic or Methodist or Lutheran or Baptist or whatever comes only second to the fact that they are Christian.
Which all brings me to my main point. Well, one of them at least. Who really cares if I believe in saints and you don’t? Or if I pray the rosary and you’ve never heard of it? When I was in Hungary, I had a big revelation while in church one night. As we were worshiping and praying for people in this church (that was not Catholic for the record), I was moved to tears. I was just overcome with the realization that, “This is church.” I was completely and totally filled in ways that, before the Race, I had only been filled by the Eucharist. As I sat there trying to process all of this, I kept thinking of all the times I was moved to tears receiving the Eucharist. How could that possibly be wrong? How could God not be there in that moment? Yet then I’d be brought back to the here and now, in Hungary, and be reminded of God moving in this clearly non-Catholic way. And then it hit me–this is exactly what they’re all talking about when they say God doesn’t live in a box. God doesn’t live in a denomination. He’s not Catholic. He’s not Baptist. He’s not Lutheran. He’s all of it and none of it. The reason I was moved to tears the night in Hungary was because my heart was open and God was there. The reason I was moved to tears receiving Eucharist was because my heart was open and God was there. I’ve been to plenty of Masses and worship services where I wasn’t moved to tears. And there have been plenty of times I’ve been weeping and others around me are on cell phones! It has nothing to do with God; it has everything to do with me. We walk into churches that we say God’s not moving in but really, are we just not open to Him there? Are we just closed to seeing Him move in a way that’s different than what we know? I don’t know how many times I heard people say something about not being able to work with a Catholic Church when we were in Hungary because they were “dead” or “God wasn’t moving” but maybe God is moving and all of us are just closed to Him. Maybe the people of that Church are closed to Him too. Maybe God is actually just waiting for someone to come along with an open heart and be willing to let Him move him/her to tears. Maybe we had that chance but we missed it because we had God in a box.
It doesn’t matter if I believe in saints and you don’t or I pray the rosary and you’ve never heard of it. What matters is that we share the foundation of Christ. These other issues are not salvation issues so why do we dwell on them? I’m sick of this being a bigger deal than it should be and people choosing to act out of ignorance. How much more will this Kingdom advance if we just wake up and unite under the banner of Christianity? Maybe I’m just being all utopian here but well hey, that’s just where my mind goes sometimes.
So there you have it. I’m Daina, a tongue speakin’, saints believin’, vision seekin’, Eucharist lovin’, KINGDOM SEEKIN’ kind of girl–and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
