At the half way point in this journey, more and more people ask me questions about post-race plans. I ask myself more and more questions as well. While I try not to live there (it’s so much better to be present), I am someone who likes to have a plan (at least sort of), so it being a complete mystery is a bit unnerving to me.
Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
Luke 9:58
To come on the race, I left everything. I sold everything I could, put in storage the things I couldn’t and entrusted people with the few things that mattered to me. For 6 months before leaving, I didn’t have a ‘home’ but at the same time had so many: I stayed in an extra room, rented a basement, slept on a couch, used an extra bed, slept in hotels and was even given my own room. This verse began to resonate with me then and continues to now.
Sometimes on this journey, we don’t have a plan. We don’t know where we will lay our head. Sometimes what we call a “bed” wouldn’t meet the standards of those back home. Sometimes we just sleep when and where we can, but it’s so worth it.
6 months into the race, the question begins to rise: where is ‘home’ when we get back? Home isn’t the house in small town Missouri, home isn’t my parents’ or the town I grew up in, home isn’t the couch, the basement, the extra bed and it certainly isn’t my car. When I go home, where will that land me?
Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 6:26
He loves us so much…
Not once in the last year have I gone hungry. Never have I been without a place to sleep. Occasionally I have been dirty, but never without clothes. Never cold, hurt or truly homeless. Always surrounded by love and support. Always at peace and safe in my surroundings and knowing that He will provide and take care of me.
He reassures me that the same will be for when I come back.
Then Jesus called the Twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and power to cure diseases. And He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. “Take nothing for the journey,” He told them, “no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no second tunic. Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that area. If anyone does not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that town, as a testimony against them.”
Matthew 10: 5-15 — Mark 6: 7-13
I’m learning, through this journey, that this is what He calls us to. He gives us the power and authority in him to do things we never thought possible. He calls us to take nothing. He calls us to trust so fully in him. He calls us away from this world and away from “normal” or what we see as necessary. He will provide those people and things we need to survive and if this journey happens to land us somewhere without those things, we dust off our feet and continue the search.
Now when Jesus saw a crowd around Him, He gave orders to depart to the other side of the sea. Then a scribe came and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.” Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” Another of the disciples said to Him, “Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.” But Jesus said to him, “Follow Me, and allow the dead to bury their own dead.”
When He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!” He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, “What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
Matthew 8:18-27
Follow him. That’s what He wants. That’s what the kingdom needs. Following him might mean something half way across the world; it might mean serving people right down the street, in your neighborhood, your town, your church. Whatever it means, once you make that decision, go with your whole heart. Follow him for a year around the world, follow him to that missions trip where the storm just hit, follow him to start that ministry, follow him to that new church plant. Just follow him, leave the rest of it behind.
Do it fearlessly. He will call you into something uncomfortable. It’s inevitable. He’s there in it. He’s with you, He will carry you through.
My view of ‘home,’ at this point is so blurry, it is that storm. Like the waves, some days I am content in that or content with plan A, or B or C that I may have cooked up in my head, some days I feel the compulsive need to have a plan because I know what I don’t want. But in the end, He controls the wind and the waves, he has not failed and promises he won’t.
Sooooo, where will the end of this amazing adventure land me? I have absolutely no idea and I try not to dwell on it now. Instead I focus on how He’s had me so far, and promises to carry me in the future. Don’t think I’m going in blind, I do have “plans” or ideas, but really…
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs 16:9
And I will rest assured in that as it creeps closer.
Thank you so much those who have followed me this far. I can’t put into words what your prayers, words and financial support has meant to me. Thank you in advance for your continued support.
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