Ok, so let’s be real. I walked out on this limb in February when I signed my letter of resignation as elementary school counselor in my district. Today, though, I took one more step out onto that limb, and took a look down…
Today was my last official day at work. It forced me to realize how real all of this is becoming. I am no longer on the path I had once thought was going to last the majority of my life, I am no longer in a place where I know exactly what I have, when I have it and where it’s going to come from, and, I am no longer planning on making plans.
I thought I had it all planned out. I was going to leave town, live in my summer employers basement, work weekends, get an hourly job, and everything would be … normal… until October. WRONG! God said, “stay”… He didn’t tell me why, He just said “stay.” It started as a whisper, and before I knew it He was screaming. Now, if you know anything at all about me, you probably know I am not easily swayed (at least not when I have already made up my mind). So I wrestled with, pleaded with, and at times, argued with God about this move (or lack there of) that seemed to make no sense. But in the end, He wants me here. It may be for a person or two, it may be for my own spiritual growth, it may be for the church plant I am a part of. At this point, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea, but I guess I am staying. In all this though, I have to remember: ” No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:60) So here’s to not looking back!
Once this decision was made … mostly… He did bless it. I have 2 jobs, and a roof over my head, things seem to be looking up on the house selling front, and fundraising seems to be going well. I thought I wouldn’t become totally dependent, or living in reckless abandon until January. I thought wrong. So here I am, where I have to ask, have to trust, and have to have faith.
Until now you have asked nothing in my name, Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full. John 16:24. — At this point, I am simply asking to be shown where to go next. Send me, I’ll go!
