Am I ready for
this? Am I ready to drop everything I know to travel the world with only
what I can carry on my back? Will I ever be ready for such a drastic
change in my life and surroundings? These questions have been filling my
mind ever since I mailed in my commitment form to AIM. Whether I’m ready
or not, I’m committed and Lord willing I’ll be leaving as early as September 28th,
for the adventure of a lifetime.
I’m pretty sure I’m not ready for this. Over the last few years, my
prayer has been that God would use me. That He would take me to the
places that no one else would want to go to, to live in the dumps and love on
the poorest of the poor. To be a witness of His life changing love that I
know first hand. I prayed that I would have a chance to travel the world
and live out the things I’d read about in my bible. I just wanted to make
Him happy.
When I got the call that I was accepted to be part of the October team, I
couldn’t believe it. I knew it was God’s will for me to go, but I didn’t
want to get my hopes up just in case I wasn’t accepted. It wasn’t that I
didn’t believe that God could make it happen but more of a doubt that He would
really think of me as worthy enough to be part of something like the world
race. A friend of mine always used to ask me what my dreams were and I
always avoided answering the question because in my heart I thought that if I
never voiced them out then I couldn’t be disappointed when they didn’t come
true. The hardest part about applying for the world race was actually
saying out loud that this was a desire of my heart. I had to trust God on
a whole new level…and that was just for the application process!
There have been so many changes in my life lately that it’s really rocked my
emotions. My job has changed, my friends, my living situation, and my
future, as I knew it. In the midst of all these crazy changes I’ve found
that there is absolutely no security in where God is going to take me next or
even in how I will get there. I can only find complete security in who
He is. I know that He loves me. He is faithful and will
never leave or disown me. He will supply all of my needs according to His
riches and glory. He has never and will never let me go. He loved
me when no one else did and comforted me when I felt so alone. He has a
plan and will see it out. As I continue on this roller coaster, I’m
seeking God more than ever before because the more I’ve come to know Him, the
easier it is for me to trust Him. I just want to know Him.
