“And it’s not one or the other. It’s hard truth and ridiculous grace to be known, fully known and loved by You“
Nearly one month down here in Costa Rica. This beautiful country has offered me new sights, new people, and new food. It’s also given me new perspective in many aspects of my life. God has been rocking my world in the past few weeks, and I’d like to share some of the things he has been showing me.
In Luke 14, Jesus says that if I am not willing to renounce everything I have, I cannot be his disciple. This is one really hard truth that has hit me right between the eyes in my time here in Costa Rica. There are a lot of things back home (security, relationships, comforts, money, etc.) that I love to cling to. I didn’t realize how tightly I clung to them until I didn’t have them all of the time. Holy Spirit led me to the passage of scripture about God asking Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham loved Isaac so much, but he was willing to sacrifice his only son if that meant being obedient to God. And the question that I was asked was, “Are you willing to give ______ up if that means better glorifying God?” This is a really hard question, but one that I will have to answer throughout this race, and will keep having to answer the rest of my life. Am I willing to give up some/all of the comforts or securities that I’m used to in order to know God more intimately if he asks me to do so?
As I finished Luke 14, I continued reading into Luke 15. The tone changes durastically between these two chapters. In the first few verses, Jesus shares the parable of the lost sheep. The Good Shepherd (Jesus) sees that one of his flock has wandered off. I saw myself as that wandering sheep. I far too quickly stray away from my shepherd, and try to do everything with my own strength, but end up lost in the wilderness somewhere. The next parable that caught my attention was the parable of the Prodigal Son. The son runs away from a loving father in search of happiness in worldly pleasures, and quickly realizes that he made a terrible mistake. So here I am, the lost sheep, the disobedient son, trying to cling to things of this world for my identity and fulfillment. These hard truths seemed a bit overwhelming, but then I read:
“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” -Luke 15:20
Jesus saw me in my filth and in my despair. He had compassion for me, and he ran out to meet me and he embraced me. He pursued this lost sheep until I was found. He put me up on his shoulders and he rejoiced. He has done this over and over in my life, and will continue to do this until my days are through.
At the top I shared a line from the song “Known” by Tauren Wells. It perfectly describes what God has been doing through me in this first month. He has asked some hard things from me. Really hard truths that shed light on the darkness still inside of me, but in those hard truths, God has shown the ridiculous amount of grace that he has for me. With God there is no in between. There is hard truth and ridiculous grace.
That’s why I choose to be obedient in the hard choices that God asks me to make. He continues to show me how inferior I am, but in that he also shows me how able he is. There is no way I could do this life in my own power. My prayer going forward is that I continue to lean more and more into God; humbling myself and giving glory to the one who deserves all of it.
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” -Philippians 3:7-10
