***My final deadline for fundraising is July 1st. I am a little over $3,000.00 away from reaching it. Please pray about how you can help me, and please share this blog so I can meet my funding deadline. Thank you so much!****
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” That question was presented to me a couple of days ago and I can’t explain how lost it made me feel. In five years I will be on the verge of turning thirty five. I would think I would be settled down, married, kids, and in a career.
I hesitate a little in writing “settled down and married.” That entails a whole lot. That entails me actually dating, and giving a guy an actual chance instead of leaving him in the friend zone for life. Then I dread the thought of even dating. I dread it because dates usually leave me bored and feeling like I was on an interview. No, I don’t want to go to dinner and have you ask me 100 questions while I eat. You see, nothing about that seems fun, plus I dread small talk. Then there is the fact that the guy I marry is going to have to pretty dang awesome. Who knows if he even exist? Then again, I would be happy by myself too and I can adopt kids.
As far as a career, the only time I was sure of what I wanted to be was in my teen years where my heart was set on being a dentist. All that changed three years into being a Biology major in college when the boredom hit me. Did I really want the daily routine of putting my hands in strangers mouths for my career? Of course not, I wanted something exciting, so I switched majors to Communications.
My new goal was aiming toward being a creative director for an Ad Agency. Then I completed my Communications major and graduated into a crashing economy with a severe lack of jobs. What did I do? I went back to my previous job “temporarily” until I found a job opening. Five years later I was still there. I was there until I left to come on this mission trip. Now I am sitting in a church in Sungai Petani, Malaysia asking what the Lord has for me in the next five years.
With that question comes a lot of things to consider. Things I need to give up, things I need to change, areas I need to grow in, and things that I want in/for my life. Five years ago I remember how my life seemed to be lacking. I wasn’t content. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to live a life that made an impact, I wanted to leave my footprint, and I wanted to inspire others. One thing that I knew for certain was that I didn’t want to live my life stuck in my “comfort zone.” I wanted a challenge.
Fast forward five years and here I sit wondering what is next. What do I do when I return back to the states? What is life going to be like? What am I going to do for a job? I know the people who I want to invest more time into. I know what qualities about myself that I want to improve, and I know what things in my life that I want to (need to) give up. However, I have no clue where life is going to take me. I still want more challenges and I still want to inspire others. I want to continue to live for the Lord where ever I end up.
I guess what all this comes down to is asking for you all to keep me in your prayers as far as direction for when I return back to the states! Who knows what the Lord has in store for me the next five years, or where I will be…maybe I will keep wandering and wondering. I want to do something radically different with this life I have been given. I don’t want routine. I want the world and its people to astonish me everyday. I want to truly live out everyday that I am alive.
