I am super excited about all God is doing and Him leading me on this adventure but I can’t lie there are some things I have mixed feelings about.
I am going to miss all of my friends and family, my church, and the ministry of the Cave. Listening to the plans of my friends and their new ministries launching and know I won’t be able to be there or listening to preparations for some more amazing things the Cave is going to be doing or the Church. Part of me wants to be there for that but know I won’t.
Turning down some jobs and wondering well is this really what God wants me to do. But then I remember that I had tried to do it my way before and there was a seven year gap between two of my missions trips when I felt in my heart I should do one a year at least.
Giving up my things, and selling my stuff. what to sell,what to keep, what to give away.
Will I be able to do this physically? I know I am losing weight but at the same time this is going to be more then the missions trips I have done before.
I know God will provide, even though it looks like I am so far from it right now.
Then I pray and ask God I need you through this is this really what you want from me.
I hear the words this is an attack.
I take a deep sigh and realize I have always had a heart for the nations, I have been dreaming about this for a long time. Things are things and they have no purpose in my life and most of them just are sitting around not even being used at all. My family and friends will be here when I get back and I can communicate with the while on the race. I might miss some events but I can pray for those events and still be a part in spirit and support. God is taking me on the adventure of a lifetime and is leading me into my purpose. As I go on in this journey I will be losing more and more weight and it will get easier as the trip goes along. God always provides when He calls and that I need to cast all my cares on Him. Even in my “Job” season someone spoke “National Geographic” over me and said God is going to open doors to you and your ministry it will be like National Geographic. well since I will be going into the Nations and seeing images that you would see in National Geographic I can only but tie these together. Then Sunday at church there was words about he is giving some keys to the nations and that some are going to run to the nations like never before. I can’t run, in fact I don’t know the last time I could but I believe some day soon I will be able to run. The Lord is my provider and He has never left me in my time of need. I know that I know that I know this is what I am called to do and I will not let these mixed emotions get the best of me. I have already lost 52 lbs. that is not a little thing and I know that I am only going to keep losing. This is my season to be all that God has called me to be and to think this might just be the beginning for me, who knows all of what God will lead me to do after the race but I know right now I am called to go to the nations!
