How is month 2 already a thing of the past? Seriously. My month in Thailand flew by. It was wonderful; it was beautiful; it was hard. I think I’ve said that in my other posts, but it’s true! All that being said, I wanted to give my final thoughts on what happened in November. It was the same same, but different every day! I was stretched, I was creative, and I saw God in the darkest of places. He is good and lights a dark room like a candle.
The opportunity to try new things is one of my favorite things about the race. Ministry isn’t just going door to door, teaching english or working in orphanages. Ministry, and living life on mission, is painting a bathroom wall, making movies, and singing in His name with obedience and faith. Sometimes it’s grungy, and sometimes it’s a party! This month there was some grunge, but there was a lot of party too. From cleaning bathrooms and washing dishes to singing and dancing with new Thai friends, God was at work.
As I reflected on what God taught me last month, I thought about the correlation between faith and obedience. To obey one must have faith, and to have faith is to obey and sometimes step out into the uncomfortable. I think a lot of the time I have faith in what God can or could do in my life, but I take no action to get to where I want to go. I trust I’ll somehow arrive at the finish line without ever having to put on my shoes or stand up. To have faith is to trust, but there is another side to the coin. To have faith is to obey. It’s to say “yes” to the weird and uncomfortable. I’m really bad at obeying, but this month I worked on it. I said “yes” to a lot of super uncomfortable things, and guess what: I didn’t die.
One fun project this month was the creation of a promotional video for Zion. With some of my squad mates, I helped direct and edit a fun little film that captures the atmosphere of the café and hostel! I think we all had a lot of fun with it.
This video isn’t the only project that was out of my comfort zone. Most people know my deeply rooted hatred of public speaking. If you didn’t know, it’s okay, but trust me. I’m not a fan. I knew going on the race the probability of me speaking and preaching in front of a large group of people was pretty much a guarantee, but I’m not going to lie, I wanted to avoid it for as long as possible.
I guess that’s why month two I spent more time than expected standing in from of people. When the month began, our squad mentor came out and spent the first week with us. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday the squad met for a session. During the first one, he told the squad we’d have an opportunity to take ownership and lead a session at the end of the month.
Instant gut wrenching annoyance is what I felt because I immediately knew I’d be speaking. How? Because God said so. I’m sure you’ve seen pictures or videos of individuals with a little angle and a litte devil on their shoulders. Well, that’s how I felt the first half of the month in conversation with God. I knew he wanted me to talk, and I was not excited. I said “yes” to God anyways.
So, later in the month, My squad mate Brooke and I lead a night of declarations and truth. We were both nervous, but we both had similar ideas on what we wanted to share in front of the squad. We wanted to scratch up the tape recorder of lies that plays over and over inside our heads. The more truth is declared, the faster lies disintegrate.
We ended the night in an nontraditional way of taking communion. The question of who God is was posed, and in response, everyone took their turn to answer the question. Even though we are all followers of the same God, He is personal and we see Him in different ways. After each person answered the question, everyone else replied with “yes” to confirm each individual’s truth of who God is.
He is a father, redeemer. He is the cosmos. He is a husband to the bride. He is grace. He is the wind, and He is breath. He is all of these things, and more.
He is the small flicker of light and hope some of my squad mates placed in the hearts of the men and women on bar street. He is the pursuer of hearts.
All of this, God reminded me of in Thailand. He showed me his power in the waterfalls, his glory as we let go of lanterns during the lantern festival, and His comfort while sneaking onto recliners in the “emperor” section of a movie theater.
He is good. He is a God I want to continue to say “yes” to. I’d love to say I’m ready for whatever he throws at me, but let’s face it. I’m not. If I was ready, I wouldn’t need Him. And, that is what makes not only the race, but life itself, such a beautifully terrifying and exciting experience.
It’s a bunch of faith and obedience thrown together with a bit of love, fear, and discomfort with just the right amount of exhilaration. It’s mixing in the calm and quite while trying not to confuse it with the mundane.
Month 3 is already half over, and I’ve already said “yes” to more uncomfortable things. I’ve continued to lean on Jesus because it is all I can do. The race is continually moving this head knowledge to my heart in all the ways I didn’t expect. Like I said earlier, the World Race is the same same but different everyday!
