In high school, I skipped school whenever I had to give presentations. I’d become physically ill. To this day, I hate speaking in front of a crowd. If a group is larger than six or seven, I get nervous. The thought of multiple eyes on me is nauseating, and I avoid it whenever possible. Usually, I do a good job of it. Last night, however, that was not the case. I spoke, or rather, the Holy Spirit spoke through me.
On Wednesday, a girl from the school invited everyone on my team to her youth group. Her pastor wanted the Americans to share two testimonies during the second service. After a short discussion, Ally and Deb volunteered to speak, and the conversation ended. The week went on as normal, and on Friday night, my team and I met the girls in front of the school for youth group. Ally and Deb were still planning to speak.
The funny thing about the Holy Spirt is that he thrives in the unplanned and the uncomfortable. Guess what wasn’t planned: me speaking. But, it happened. A few minutes before service began, the pastor asked if the two people speaking would tie “life after school” into their testimonies. Immediately I felt it. God spoke directly to me. I turned to Deb, and awkwardly asked her to give up her speaking spot. Without hesitation, she handed me the slot, and no more than half an hour later I found myself, mic in hand, speaking to at least 50 college students.
I think talked about New York, culinary school, and life because they are a big part of my story, but when I handed the mic over, I forgot almost everything I said. Before speaking, I could have thrown up, but for the first time in my life, the nerves went away as soon as I stepped in front of everyone. I listened to the Holy Spirit, and I was given grace in abundance. Afterward, a couple of girls came up to me. They told me they were touched and they connected with what I had to say. One said she cried.
Following God looks different every day. It’s uncomfortable and can’t be self-led. It is scary, and it requires boldness, but it always produces fruit. Even when I hate it or don’t understand, I love listening to Him. I know this because He led me to a college I didn’t want to attend that allowed me to work at a coffee shop which cultivated an incredible community who pushed me to grow and encouraged my World Race endeavor.
I don’t know what the fruit of listening to his command to talk will be, and I don’t think I ever will, but I do know that he has a plan bigger than I could imagine, and I’m excited. I’m excited because I’m one person, and I’ve seen his fruit. Imagine what your hometown and the world will look like when people boldly go where they never thought they could go in his name and listen to His call for change.
