Most of you probably know where I am going. The World Race: an adventure to serve those forgotten with an intentional community and the purpose of abandoning the ordinary to encounter God in unbelievable ways.
What many of you probably don’t know is where I came from. We all have a story, and mine, like many others is full of twists and turns. All of it adds to the purpose God has for me, but if it weren’t for this past year, I wouldn’t be joining those that have, are, and will be obsessing over this insane 11-month journey.
Three important things happened last year that have led me to where I am now:
- I backpacked around Europe for two months alone
- I lived in The Anthem House
- God
This time last year, I was stuffing myself with waffles in Brussels and preparing to leave home the next morning. Just thinking about it blows my mind a bit. Time doesn’t take any breathers! I came home with memories, but more importantly, an insatiable desire for more. If it weren’t for my commitment to the Anthem House, I would not have come back to the states.
There was a world greater than the one I previously identified with. I knew I would be out there again, but I also wanted to go with a purpose. And so, the travel searching, blog reading, flight-watching hobbies began…
…Enter Anthem House. Last year, I had the incredible opportunity to live and serve my community. Instead of hiring another college pastor, my church recruited six college students as interns. Together we lived in a house requiring intense community, discipline, and responsibility. Together we failed, laughed, cried, and grew.
Just a few days ago, I was rereading a journal entry I wrote at the end of my time in the house. I think it sums the significance of the year and gives a clearer picture of the journey I am continuing.
“8 months ago, the Crysahna that existed was not the person that is Crysahna today. I have become more “me” in the things God has created me to be, and I’ve shed things he did not intend for me. I am Bold, and I have less fear. I know His voice and I am no longer contained in the closed-up brown box I had Him in before. I am not alone. I have community.
8 months ago, I was quiet because I was afraid, and sometimes, I still struggle with that, but before I kept my mouth shut 99/100 times. Now it’s more like 25/100 or 50/100 depending on the day.
At the first dinner, we were asked what we wanted to get out of this year, and my response had something to do with loving and not seeing the hypocrisy in Christianity. I enjoyed time with my non-Christian friends because I didn’t have any friends that followed in a relationship with Jesus. Now, I have friends from both categories. It is good.
I used to think I was introverted and didn’t like people, but now, after this year in Anthem, I’m not so sure. I actually really like people. A lot. Walking into big crowds, parties, church, etc. is still slightly terrifying, but I’m doing it.
I have boldness in what I believe, and past wounds have turned into beautiful scar stories (My baptism being a huge example). In my entire life, I don’t think I have ever been at a point where I could walk into a room and be known and know everyone in one capacity or another and still be accepted or not care as much if I wasn’t. (Hence why I am more social—yay freedom in God). I am okay with not following the status quo because I am a child of God, and in that I am finding freedom to be who I want to be without apology. “
The Anthem House empowered me with boldness that lead to freedom. It showed me the beauty and struggle that is in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I began to listen to his voice. I learned it was okay not to be okay.
I experienced, for the first time in my life, the true unconditional love of God. His greatness and complexity were taken out of the box, dusted off, and exploded. He spoke to my soul; our languages the same.
This transformation wasn’t an overnight process, and he is by no means finished with me. But, it was necessary in my commitment to the World Race.
This past year is like a plant:
My solo trip in Europe was the seed. Without it, my desire to travel would have manifested into a temporarily satisfied and insincere gratitude towards the superficial. Anthem was the water. Its community gave me boldness and freedom to step away from the status quo. I learned to serve and be intentional. Both my physical and spiritual being went from a numb slouch to confident and brave.
God tied it all together as the fertilizer. When I pursue him with worship and praise, or questions and doubts, he makes me stronger. He is grace, he is love, and I’ve barely scratched the surface!
I could stay at home listening to stories of the people who listened to his call, or I could go and be utterly changed. Permanently. Where I am now will not be where I am or where I am going in a year. Like all other experiences, it will become another story just like the Anthem House, and just like Europe, and God will be there to bind it all together. He is here now just as he was in my stories, and he will continue to be here even when I no longer have stories to tell.
Through the twists and the turns, there is a creator calling my name. He is calling me into the unknown, and so, I go.
