Wow. It's just now hitting me that this is actually happening.
I never dreamed this would be in the cards a few years ago.
I went to an outdoorsy store the other day. I didn't frequent those too often before college.
Even during college, it's been a long process. I am a self-proclaimed girly girl.
Anyways, I got tickled thinking about how I'm about to buy a rather expensive tent and sleeping bag to travel the world, live out of a backpack, bathe less than what I'm used to, and live really simply.
Someone told me "Crosby, this just doesn't seem like you". Well, that's because it's not, As much as I dream about being this great "adventure woman", it doesn't really fit the Crosby everyone knows.
This is all i know. I love Jesus. He's my best friend. I love him more each passing day. I want his presence more than I can explain. I believe he's real and moving. I believe in his promises and I believe in his plans. If he says, "Go". Then I'm going.
Why would I think my plans are better than his?
I don't want to live in regret. I don't want to look back on life and think.. "Why didn't I listen to the still, small voice I heard from the Lord?" It's making my eyes water just writing that.
When I have an unbelievable opportunity that I felt the Lord push me to. I AM NOT TURNING IT DOWN. I would be a fool.
So right now.. Yes, I'm struggling with the thought of being away for 11 months. "I'm too close to my family for that" "Shouldn't I get a real job" "I'm going to miss out on so much". These are the thoughts the devil brings to my mind.
I won't let him win. There is nothing more beautiful than a calling from your Savior.
I'm willing to leave the known for the unknown. I'm willing to let him completely wreck me. I'm willing to give him my entire life, heart, plans and stretch me further than I thought I could go. Lord, I'm yours. Have your way.
