May 11, 2018
Well guys, there’s been a lot floating around in my head and going through my mind the past 2 weeks. I think it’s time I let you guys in, into my brain. This is kind of risky and I’m a little nervous but here it goes. You know that I was in Romania last month. I think you also know how much I loved it. But I don’t think you know what God did in my heart while I was there because I just now put it all together. It was very hard for me to leave Romania because of many reasons. I love the people there, love the ministry there, love my country, love speaking Romanian and met some people that have changed my life.
Let me go back in time a little, to before the World Race. As I was deciding which route to pick, I remember thinking, “I want to pick a route that goes to Romania.” I’m not sure why I thought that. I didn’t really have a connection with Romania except that I was born there and went to visit once, 18 years ago. But I knew that I wanted a route that went to Romania. So I found one and I was very excited to be going to Romania on the World Race.
So now, here I was in Romania. I was made the point person in between our host, Raul, and the rest of our squad. My job was to communicate from one to the other and vice versa. I was also the person in between the Romanians and the Americans during our time there but specifically during PVT, this is the time that the parents of the Racers were there with us for 5 days. We did so much planning. We planned who would stay where, who went with which missionary to do what ministry, who rode in which vehicle, how many translators we will have and where they will be, how many drivers we had and how many people they can fit in their vehicle, how many people will be at each meal, etc. And as you can imagine, things don’t always turn out as planned. Sometimes people don’t show up or more people show up; sometimes people don’t listen to what you tell them and then they throw off your numbers; sometimes people don’t pay attention; sometimes people change their mind; etc. So if one thing is thrown off, usually that throws off something else too. I was constantly problem solving and rewriting lists or rewriting charts of who is where.
I was doing all of this but also serving people as best as I could in between all of this. I would go find things or people for people, go buy things, call someone, pray with someone, find out some kind of information or just hide out in the office for 5 minutes of quiet. I would go in to the church in the morning and get back home in the evening. I had so many people ask me, “Are you ok? Is everything ok with you? Are you sure? You know you can always say No to some things if it’s getting to be too much.” I am so thankful for all of those people and also for everyone that was encouraging me and telling me that I was doing such a great job.
This got me thinking, however. Why was I ok? Why was I so joyful and positive? Why was this so easy and natural for me? Why was I feeling so alive? Where did I have all this energy from? My answer was that it was God. Obviously, it was all God. He gave me the ability to do all this. He is my sustenance. He is my air, my food, my water. I can’t do anything without Him. But there was a part that I hadn’t seen yet, until today.
Before I left Romania, I had many talks with Raul and it was very evident that he was trying to “recruit” me. He’s a recruiter. That’s what he does. It’s cool. Anyway, I kept telling him that I’ll be praying about coming back to Romania. I want to be sure that God wants me there because I had never wanted to move back to Romania. I was very happy living in the USA and was planning to go back there after the Race. On our last talk, he asked me, “Why did you go on the World Race?” I began telling him what I tell everyone and then I said, “Well I asked God to reveal to me my calling or my purpose and my place, and also to reveal to me my spiritual gifts and how to use them.” And then I had a freaking out moment. Oh my gosh! I’ve found the place. Oh my gosh! What do I do now? What do I do now that I have found my place? Do I keep going and continue the World Race? Do I just stay here? Do I go to Bulgaria and spend the month praying and fasting and asking God what to do?
Well, you’ll be happy to know that I chose the last one. I didn’t make any crazy, rushed decisions. Although I was very tempted. I talked to people in my life that I trust and they all encouraged me to finish what I started and then see what God says after the Race. That’s wise. So I’ve been taking the free time we have here and using it wisely. I’ve been praying and fasting. And God is faithful. He showed me something really cool today which is what I was ultimately getting at with this blog.
I was talking to Raul again and we were just discussing my time there and how well we worked together. He was saying that he was surprised that I was able to keep up with him. At one point, he was wondering how much more I could take before I gave up. He also mentioned that I was able to keep up with all the changes that kept happening and still be positive. I said that I’m not sure why that was. I don’t think it’s something I learned. Maybe it’s a gift or just life experience. Or maybe it’s a little bit of all of that. We started talking about gifts and how some people are gifts and then we went into spiritual gifts. I told him that I struggled with figuring mine out because I was different. We took a test to figure out our spiritual gifts at the end of Month 4 in Cambodia. I was very excited about that! My number 1 was ‘Helps.’ We went around the room and everyone shared their number 1. I was the only one that had ‘Helps….’
Helps. What is Helps? It’s found in 1 Corinthians 12:28. When I learned that in Cambodia, I was like, “That’s great. It’s true. I love to help people.” This was the definition given, “The gift of helps is the special ability that God gives to certain members of the body of Christ to invest the talents they have in the life and ministry of other members of the body, thus enabling those others to increase the effectiveness of their own spiritual gifts.” When I read that in Cambodia, it sounded great but I had no idea how to do that.
Today when we were talking about this, I forgot I had that paper with the explanation so I just googled spiritual gifts. I looked up Helps and it said, ‘to render support or assistance to others in the body so as to free them up for ministry.’ I showed this to Raul and he said, “That’s exactly what you did for me. Because you did what you did, I was able to function at my best and use my gifts effectively. I would’ve wasted a lot of time and energy if I had to do what you did and also do what I did too. And I also wouldn’t have been able to do it as well because I’m not a very detailed person.”
When I showed him the other description, we both had ‘Wow’ moments. So that is when it all hit me. It all made sense. God answered my prayer. (He’s been doing that a lot lately.) I asked Him to show me my place and purpose and to show me my gifts and how to use them. It’s funny because I didn’t realize it was because of my spiritual gift that I was able to do everything I did in Romania the way I did. God showed me how to use my spiritual gift and then revealed the description of the gift to me just now. Wow! I love how God does things and puts people together. I am in constant awe of Him and his goodness.
Anyway, I’m saying all of this to say that it looks like I’m moving to Romania for a time, probably a couple of years. Aaaahhhhhhh! I can’t believe I just wrote that. Is this real life? After the Race, I’m planning on going home to Florida for a few months and then head to Romania in January or February.
I also want to encourage you to ask God about your spiritual gifts and how to use them. Here’s a website that I found. Hope it helps. Hahaha. Helps. Get it? 🙂
https://mintools.com/gifts-list.htm#top.
Anyway, I can’t thank you all enough for all that you’ve done for me, especially praying for me. There are so many times that I can feel your prayers. I just know that God is working and so many times things just happen, and I know that it’s because there are people always praying for me.
I would really appreciate it if you guys would begin praying with me about this next part of my life that will be starting next year. There are many things I need to do to prepare and I will have to fundraise again. I’m praying that I get monthly financial supporters because that works best for long-term missions. Please begin praying about that. I will keep you guys updated. I love you all! <3
