At the beginning of training in Swaziland, our trainers told us over and over that the focus this year should not be on what we were doing and the task, but on ‘just being’.
They taught us that our identity comes first, then the task or action.
As much as I wanted to grasp this new mind set, I couldn’t seem to.
I naturally have a producer mentality.
Always wanting to DO more, accomplish more, reach more people and not waste one spare moment.
My close family and friends would know this back home as I was pursuing a medical degree, teaching at a private school, and leading a jr. high group at my home church all at the same time.
I had very little time to myself and neglected my family all together. Part of my problem was that it was so hard for me to tell people no when I would see such a need.
This past Sunday, a local missionary here at Alabanza spoke a simple word during church that he felt God was putting on his heart.
He turned to John 15 and read this: “Greater love has no man this that a man lay down his life for his friends.
I call you not servants, for the servant knows not what his Lord does: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you…whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it to you.”
I have heard this message over and over that we shouldn’t have the servant-hood mentality when we approach our Father, but a friendship mentality.
Until now, this never really became life to me.
In Psalms 46:10 it says, “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted among the nations.”
Here is a personal example of how God is teaching me this principle. Recently, I broke off a three year friendship/relationship with one of my very best friends.
We had made long-term plans together, but were waiting on God’s timing before we made a move on marriage, etc.
Our relationship was very much God-centered and I am so thankful.
I received a letter stating that he had found someone else, but spoke of how much he loved me and cherished my true friendship.
I went to God and lifted it up to Him, yet I wasn’t heart-broken.
I couldn’t understand why after three years of a knowing security, in the midst of losing it all, I wasn’t torn to pieces.
I really believe God extended grace to me, yet there was still a void/whole in my heart.
I wasn’t heart-broken, yet something was still not right.
God has really spoken peace into my life since, as He has assured me that He wants to fill that void with His love and intimacy.
God has really made the friendship and ‘just being’ mentality become alive to me.
I asked God to strip me of my servant-hood mentality, the thoughts that I constantly have to be doing something to draw closer to Him.
Now I know that He simply just wants to be with me.
He wants me to be still and know that He is God.
At my home church, we repeatedly told our teens that the people you hang around is the person you will become.
I want to hang with my Father; I want to become more like Him.
And I believe with all my heart that as I spend more time with Him just being myself, being intimate and vulnerable, that He will shine more and more through me. As a result, people’s lives will be touched and changed.
I want to be captivated in my Father’s love.
I want to grasp this concept of being just His friend and not a servant.
