pole sana* for not writing sooner. i'm horrendous at keeping people updated and informed and that includes blogging. God told me to blog during my last trip** and even then i failed semi-miserably. this time i don't exactly have a direct word from Him to write, however, the life that He's called me to requires more exposure than normal. this tangibly translates into blogging for you, dear reader. my apologies.
anywho, i was running one day along the railroad tracks that are carved into the side of the mountain that i live on and i heard these words, via bill johnson, speak to more than just my physical body…
"if you want peace that passes understanding, you have to give up your right to understand. you have to lay down the demand to understand."
why? because it's the peace that surpasses all understanding***.
oh. that makes a heck of a lot of sense, especially here in kenya where nothing seems to makes sense. there are so many moments where i'm rendered clueless and faced with choosing all of the fruits of the Spirit. honestly, i haven't been choosing very wisely and as a result, i'm often bogged down, restless, peaceless, joyless, lifeless…
i understand giving up the right to understand because here i've been forced to give that up, shake my head and throw up my hands in pretty much every situation. nothing goes as planned here. if it's not the culture, it's the spirit of religion and deception. if it's not that then it's nature manifesting in landslides, massive cracks in the earth, and flash flooding. (fyi: it's rainy season here. see picture below.)
i didn't realize how much i like to understand what's going on until it's almost impossible to understand anything. i don't understand why a mother in our camp left her children to fend for themselves for two weeks so she could visit her parents in another city. i don't understand why the plans that God has planted in our hearts still haven't happened…yet. i don't understand why we have to have a 'give us this day our daily bread' mentality every single moment in order to make it through the day without pulling our hair out. i don't understand how that much water can come out of the sky and yet nothing comes out of our faucets for days. i don't understand why it is so hard to choose Joy here.
as you can probably tell, i have the lack of understanding part down pat. i'm still in the process of manifesting the Peace consistently. it's a fight to the death with Peace and frustration yet in the midst of it all i still don't understand. i might as well fight for Peace so that i can have a smile on my face and Joy in my heart as i continue live in the land of murphy's law****.
much Love.
*direct translation is "i'm sorry very much"
**www.ohafricahowilovethee.wordpress.com
***philippians 4:7
****murphy's law states that if anything can go wrong, it will.
