What am I so afraid of that resides in Warren County?
Is it that there’s nothing there that excites me to come home yet my entire family is there.
Is it the lack of friends I don’t want to admit I have.
Is it the lack of love that I feel there.
How am I so loved here and so unwanted there?
What’s that about? It can’t be true but that’s exactly how I feel.
I feel wanted here and called.
I feel dismissed there
I feel pain
I feel hurt
I feel disgust
I feel angry
Angry because I’ve been given this new life and have no idea what to do with it but I know that I can’t give up.
Angry because I have a job to do here and an expectation.
I have nothing to do once I’m home but freelance and love.
That sounds awful to me
I hate the thought of it
I hate the mention of it
Yet it’s my reality.
It’s quickly approaching and I only have two options.
Coast or Swim.
I can either go into a reclusive and stagnant life or I can embrace the shit and move on with you Lord.
God how do I do this?
How do I process this?
Help
Me
Love
So easy here
What’s it like at home?
