Leaving anywhere is not usually easy, especially if it is somewhere that has been a positive experience.
For years now, ever since my first mission trip abroad, when I leave I typically focus on if I will be coming back to that country again. Growing up my family and many members of our church went on mission trips to Refuge Ranch in Mexico. Leaving there was hard because of our relationships we had with everyone there. But, it was never a sadness of “I won’t ever be back here again” that kind of sadness did not occur for me for a few years. When I went to Panama I felt a peace that I would be back there, God still hasn’t brought me back, but it could still happen!
Then I went to Ecuador!!
In 2010, honestly I wish I had re-read my journal from then before I left, because I don’t have many memories from it fresh in my mind. I remember traveling on a mountain road, doing a children’s program, painting a school, the cockroaches, and washing laundry for people in the river. Other than that the memories are blurry, but I do remember leaving. I felt very convinced I would never be back in Ecuador again, at least that is what I was thinking my feelings meant. It was not until yesterday that I began questioning these feelings. I was feeling the same emotional response as we drove out of Quito yesterday. I began to pray on the bus asking God, “Why do you always make it so hard for me to leave Ecuador?” He has not given me an answer yet, and I don’t know if He ever will. God has shown me one thing though: being sad when leaving an area does not mean I will never return! He made this obviously apparent through this World Race route sending me back to Ecuador.
It is strange to even think of this country being the same, since my time in Ecuador this month is so different than before. Ecuador is the most ecologically diverse country in the world and I have now gotten to see two sides of it. This month we were in the city, riding on public buses and only seeing children when we were at our housing site. The extent of bugs we saw were some decently sized spiders, but mainly the smallest bugs ever, that are so small they are nicknamed “no-see-ums”. Don’t underestimate them though, they leave scars!
Even with so many differences the feeling is the same as I am leaving. I know I want to come back here, this month I was able to visit a small tourist town called Mindo and I definitely can see a family vacation or some solo travel in the future going back there! That is why this feeling is confusing to me, I also know I want to come back to visit Mabe and Fabi our host mom and dad.
I am not sure why, but God wants me to remember Ecuador and allow it to take a small piece of my heart and it definitely has!
Do not worry!! I have many more stories to share about our time in Ecuador with Cru and will be sharing those via vlogs when I am able to finally get around to putting the footage together! This month has had more experiences than I could have imagined, I still cannot believe I am here!
Thank you so much for continuing to read my stories and for supporting me along this crazy journey!!
God is good!
