I wanted to write a blog about what has been my biggest blessing within leading here in the Philippines so far.
Is it the coconuts, sunshine, and palm trees that surround me this winter season?
NO… (but honestly yeah that too)
Is it sharing a bed with someone that doesn’t snore violently in her sleep?
Yes… but NO. (Thank you Casey)
The biggest blessing since being here has been being able to pour out, equip, empower, and then let go.
I love preaching. I love evangelism. I love women’s ministry. I love ministry. I just love being the hands and feet of Christ and I love saying yes without hesitation when he calls me in action… but here my role is reversed in a way. Here I get to step in front of them with an example to follow, show them the way, speak into them about how they are more than equipped and ready, and then let go and watch the Lord take them FLYING.
Power.
It’s hard to watch and see things you would do differently or see things you for sure want to jump in on… but honestly it’s been a joy to see how these girls have taught me too. In our differences I am learning from them too.
The Lord doesn’t call the equipped, he equips the called… these girls are already 100% ready and full of the needed skills and hearts to do what the Lord needs them to do… I just get to set them forward and push them into the fathers arms.
Sometimes it looks like me sitting with them as they are planning something and holding my tongue until they ask me for my perspective. Sometimes it’s giving my testimony first so that they feel more comfortable. Sometimes it’s me explaining a Bible passage so they can better understand what is being asked of them. Sometimes it’s me picking my ministry part last to make sure they are able to pursue their passions first. Sometimes it’s me speaking life into them when they feel they can’t do something. Sometimes it me winging something on the spot in front of a crowd of a hundred because their planning didn’t quite match up. Sometimes it’s me delegating who does what and who goes where. Most of the time it’s me just watching them run fast towards the Lord and I am encouraging them through it all as I’m doing the thing right alongside them.
There’s been so many moments my flesh has wanted to take over a situation purely because of my own desires… and then in the same moment I watched these radiant girls do a work I never thought EVER possible.
They are kingdom fighters and freedom writers.
They are chain breakers and love bringers.
They are dream chasers and healing givers.
I have loved having the blessing to teach them how to dream big and then even bigger… and then even bigger and then once they feel they have dreamed the biggest dream they have ever dreamed… telling them to dream even bigger.
and the cool thing is… they do. They dream big big dreams and back it up with even bigger prayers to follow.
My role isn’t to do everything for them or to run this race for them, I am here to empower and pour the fathers love into them to help them run faster. I am here to be a safe place to run to to be challenged, poured into, guided by, or simply to cry or laugh with. I am here to be an example and to go first then pass the baton along to show them they can do it too. I am here to show them what the fathers love looks like in human form. I am here to help them learn what it looks like to create and cultivate healthy and thriving community. I am here to pour into them when they have questions about our Heavenly Father, the Bible, or what a free relationship with the Lord looks like. I am here to be a bridge and an anchor in the waves. I am here to liberate, to bring freedom, and to disciple them.
Now… am I perfect? Lol heck no. I have had so many hard conversations, received some rough feedback, and messed up a lot too.
And thats where grace comes in. In these moments I get to show what it looks like to walk healthily through failure and rough times with grace, humility, truth, forgiveness, and love. These hard times and moments when the dart didn’t quite hit the bullseye are the same times the biggest breakthroughs have happened. I get to celebrate these moments because I don’t have to be perfect to have the Lord work through me… in fact if I was a perfect leader for these girls, the Lord wouldn’t have enough room to work here at all.
A wise wise human I know once said… “Sometimes the Lord gives you a bigger coat than you can fit into not because he thinks you can wear it all on your own in your own strength… but because he knows you cannot. He gives you a coat twenty sizes too big because it gives him more room to work in your situation.”
Mmmmmmm. Yeah.
And as I sit here I am in a van with all of my 14 new friends, all of them 18-21, that I am leading here in the Philippines. I do all the on ground finances, on ground communication, and on ground leadership. I set time aside to have a one on one with each girl at least once a week, make sure team times happen, and I also simply am the bridge that sometimes does all the not fun, super boring, mostly stressful, sometimes hard behind the scenes work that some of these girls will never actually understand fully… but that’s okay. Some days I have to step out of things I really wanna be apart of to do it all… and that’s okay too.
What I am learning is that the Lord didn’t call me here to be perfect and to be the perfect human for them. The Lord called me here to love them like Christ loves them and to empower them to love the same. To show them their gifts and to set them flying.
And THAT has big my biggest blessing. All the little sacrifices and all the big surrenders that leads them to even bigger revelations all because the Lord has a coat big enough to work in. I am blessed to be here and get to be apart of this journey first hand and to get to be in it with them 24/7.
I am so glad the Lord called me to this. Even when it hurts. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s so pure and loving. Even when it’s full of life and love. Even when it makes no sense. Even when I feel equipped and even when I don’t. I’m so glad the Lord called me to this.
if you feel led to donate, you can do so at the top of this blog. Thank you everyone for your support and your constant encouragement! This journey has been a different one but one of my favorites by far. Getting to pour into these women and get to join them in some beautiful ministries too all at the same time has been so sweet and so life breathing! And your support is what is keeping me here!
Thank you for following along to my journey and God Bless!
