We arrived! About a week ago we arrived.
All 49 of us. We are all safe and sound.
Praise Jesus. Hallelujah.
Let me just give you the rundown of what has happened since we have been here…
WEDNESDAY the 11th: We arrived and went straight to bed
THURSDAY: Some attempted to “seize the day” as others fought jet lag and never left the bed.
FRIDAY: Everyone is now feeling jet lag and we went through culture orientation! Yay! They explained all the ins and outs of life here in Thailand! Then we all went to a Buddhist temple and talked with monks! Super rad day.
SATURDAY: Everyone was free to adventure and explore around here in Chaing Mai!
SUNDAY: We all rested and got our minds and bodies ready to hit the ground running for ministry to start on Monday.
MONDAY: EVERYONE STARTED MINISTRY!! yay! … except me because I got food poisoning the night prior.
TUESDAY: Day two of ministry! … i stayed home to rest and get my body back in shape.
TODAY: Everyone is out and working hard at ministry and I am sitting here writing this blog for you all at our hostel because my body needed some more healing before it went into full gear again.
You may be asking yourself questions as to why I have/had food poisoning (and if you aren’t asking yourself questions I am going to tell you anyway)… it is because I drank coconut milk from a coconut milk shake. Apparently here in Thailand the coconut has different bacteria than in the States? Either way, Courtney is sad because those shakes were GOOOOD! Bummer. Sad face.
But as much as not being able to drink those AMAZING coconut shakes anymore is a bummer, I am mostly sad I haven’t been able to be with my teams for the first three days of ministry. Anyone who knows me well knows I don’t do things halfheartedly. When I say YES, I am all in and I am going to give all of me. Not being able to give my teams all of me right now in this really sweet beginning time of the race is so hard. Actually, it’s quite painful.
I’ve had to really sit and pray into why that is. Why is it that resting to refuel my body feels like the wrong thing to do?
The Lord has been very clear with me and has shown me that rest is something he needed me to start with. He needed me to come into this season with a heart, mind, body, and soul filled with rest so I can pour out immeasurably more than before.
Did the Lord make me sick? Nah. Did he use the sick? For sure. The Lord can use literally anything for his glory and to bring lessons and growth for his kingdom.
In this time of rest and healing these past few days I have also had a lot of time to think and ask the Lord some pretty hard questions and some pretty life bringing questions too. One of the best ones the Lord answered me on is “Why am I here?”.
From the very beginning of this process I knew being here and squad leading was an act of great obedience and trust. All the puzzle pieces didn’t make sense in the beginning but I felt peace knowing the Lord would weave a beautiful puzzle out of the obedience I gave to him. And that is why I am here. I know the Lord has a divine and beautiful plan for myself within this journey and I know it won’t be easy but it will be worth it.
Leaving the states this time was hard and leaving the states knowing there were so many things I didn’t want to say “goodbyes” and “see you laters” to were even harder. But I trust. I trust the Lords mighty plan and his paths because he hasn’t failed me yet.
This path for this season I have stepped into is hard. This path I have stepped into this season is beautiful too.
Hard isn’t bad, hard is just hard. Simple phrase, powerful words.
Now here I am laying in my hostel waiting for my new humans to come home so I can soak up all they did today and experienced. Now here I am dwelling in the opportunity of revival and newness and joy and blessings the Lord has given me. Now here I am resting in the fact that I know my God is big and he can take care of all the things I don’t understand quite yet. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. He knows my everything. That’s the God I get to trust and follow.
I lay here in surrender. God I pray your great love be a blanket over my squad this season and my friends, family, and loved ones back home. You know all their names and hearts. God I pray you bless my squad and friends, family, and loved ones back home right now as I post this blog. I pray radical love and immeasurably more. Amen.
