Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours
FEEDINGS- everyday I see kids that run towards us with jugs, pitchers, cups, or plastic bags looking forward to the one regular meal they get that week. Some kids eat immediately and then rush back in line, and some take all they just received and give it to their families. I see fights over food. I see kids freely giving food away to kids more in need. I see desperation.
PRISON MINISTRY- we are doing a women’s prison ministry where we go and literally preach the gospel and shine some light into these broken and battered women’s hearts. I see women who are stone cold. I see women who are fighting towards Christ with every breath, but still have no hope at the end of the tunnel. I see 18 year olds that have lost hope for the rest of their lives and 80 year olds that don’t want to fight for anything.
KIDS MINISTRY- I see children with minimal clothes in their backs. I see parents that let their kids run wild and free all day long because they can’t provide for them if they stay home all day. I see kids that beg for the clothes on my back or the bracelets on my wrists because all they want is something to call their own. I find myself loving to the very end of myself in order to show Jesus to them and everyday I find myself discouraged at the physical lack I see.
BEAUTY FOR ASHES- we are planning a retreat for the women we are working with that are battered, broken, and used. JESUS SEES THESE WOMEN AS WHOLE, BEAUTIFUL AND FULLY LOVED! I find my heart breaking at every second in this process as we prepare for the liberation we are planning for. Some of our ministry we can’t share in depth, but power and love and restoration is fully fully FULLY happening! Beautiful and hard.
SPENDING TIME IN THE COMMUNITIES- I see broken homes and broken lives because of the disasters caused by the typhoon Yolanda 5 years ago. I hear stories of people seeing their loved ones floating away from them dead. I hear stories of their homes being washed away. I hear stories of evacuations and miscommunications. I see the devastation 5 years later living in the recovered crash zone and looking into the eyes of the people still battered and shattered. I see roads still not recovered and hearts still broken. A faith that is harder to find.
Before coming here in the Philippines I saw poverty, brokenness, and injustice all over the world. That’s something I feel very much I have lived in in the last few seasons. Everywhere from Asia, the Caribbean, Africa, South America, and all the way back to where I am right now. There’s poverty and brokenness in the United States too. It’s everywhere. But there’s something different when you see a kid that has been abandoned, that now has no food, no house, no family, and no hope just clinging to you in the biggest hug ever because you are someone who has fed him and given him just a little love… and then knowing once you drive away he will have no one to love them until you see them next.
There’s so much hurt here that I see everyday and it sucks. It’s hard. It’s angering.
Something the Lord has taught me though is that it’s better to be angry at the injustice than to not care at all. When we pray the prayer “God break our heart for what breaks yours” he will do just that.
God has given me a heart like his to be the hands and feet to his people here on earth. He has blessed me with the opportunity to be his literal hands and feet to these people. He has given me the opportunity to see his children with his eyes and love them with his love. It’s hard. It’s so hard to watch. It’s so so good too.
I am blessed to be one of the people God chose to be the messenger. The fighter to the ones who can’t fight on their own. The voice to the voiceless. The hands to those who can’t do in their own. The heart and love that Jesus has sent to them.
I am blessed to say that by me saying YES to His callings on me for the past few years I have seen brokenness and have been apart of the healing. God has used me to answer peoples prayers.
I am not the answer, but he has used my willing heart.
It’s hard. It’s so hard. It’s so so hard… but I wouldn’t trade this season or my past seasons for the world. Sometimes surrendering to Gods Will means surrendering to all comforts and letting the Lord break your heart for what breaks his so that he can use me more. So that he can light a fire in me more and more for his kingdom. So that I can stay challenged and growing. So that I can live without boundaries. So that I can cry with real tears. So that I can rejoice with true joy. So that I can praise with genuine praise. So that I can be a kingdom worker with a heart of intentionality and grit.
Thank you Lord. It’s hard. But thank you Lord. I pray that I can be one of your kingdom workers here on earth that will continue to bring your perspective and your love. I pray seeing injustice never gets easier… I pray it continues to light a fire within me. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Amen.
