Coming to training camp in July I was presented with the phrase “some days a random pastor or your ministry host will just randomly ask you to preach on the spot and you will just have to do it and your going to have to be prepared”. The thought of this happening excited me and terrified a few of my teammates. I love preaching and I love adventure so this sounded so cool.
Well. It actually ended up happening.
Two saturdays ago my team and I were in a random Tuk Tuk in India coming back to the compound from a really AMAZING team dinner and randomly asked our ministry host “hey so tomorrow is Sunday! … are we going to church or are we going to just use it as a rest day?” And our ministry host replied promptly with “Oh! Yes! I need one of you to preach, one to share a testimony corresponding with the preaching, and some songs prepared!”
Lol
We all were like “oh. Okay we can do that!!” But secretly were freaking out.
I immediately was asked by my team to preach, Kendal and Emma volunteered to sing and play some songs, and Kendal volunteered to share the testimony. I went straight to my computer that night and began writing a sermon that took me an hour to write and 40-60 minutes to preach (with translation).
I had so much fun writing that sermon and I truly felt like God spoke through it when I preached the next day.
We showed up to church and were asked to sit in the front in chairs facing the extremely small congregation. They sang some songs for us and then we took over.
Emma and Kendal started it out with their amazingly talented worship people skills.
Then I went.
I walked up there and just felt so much peace. I preached on our identity in Christ. I talked about how our past doesn’t define who we are, what we do doesn’t define who we are, our works doesn’t define who we are, or anything else doesn’t define who we are. GODS LOVE FOR US and our IDENTY AS HIS CHILDREN when we are saved is our identity FOREVER.
It was a really powerful moment in my life when I was preaching. I felt like God was so present in those moments for me personally and in that room.
After I preached my ministry host who happened to be translating for me leaned over and whispers “do the alter call” and I was like “um excuse me what??” And he was like “yes. Do alter call right now. “
So guess what your home girl did?? She did alter call because in this life I have chosen to walk into I have agreed to a life of uncomfortableness and awkward situations and to allow God to use me in every situation he asks me to walk into.
I took a deep breath. Had a minute of “crap”. Had a hot sec with the Lord in prayer asking him to speak to these people… and then let God start talking life into them.
“If you have ever felt abused.
If you have ever felt abandoned.
If you have ever felt used.
If you have ever felt worthless.
If you have ever felt lesser than.
If you have ever felt like a burden.
If you have ever felt like you have sinned too much to be saved.
If you have ever felt like you don’t belong.
If you have ever felt like you aren’t wanted.
If you have ever felt not good enough.
Or anything else and you want to change your identity forever and become a child of God forever…. say this prayer with me.”
And at that moment my ministry host told my team to go find people that wanted prayer and we prayed over almost the whole church one by one by one.
Then at the end I prayed a large prayer over everyone, closed my bible, walked back to my seat, and listened to Kendals amazing testimony.
When our team got home I remember thinking to myself “I want to do that everyday”. In those moments where I was preaching and life was being spoken through my lips but coming from God I realized this is a gift and a passion that God has given me. But I didn’t know why.
I began to pray to God to reveal why this is something he has given me and where he wants me to apply it. The very next day my ministry Host walked up to me and very seriously and genuinely he said, “courtney. You are a preacher. Your words cut like a knife and your skills are beautiful. Have you ever been trained in preaching at bible college?” And I was like “well thank you! No I haven’t! I just really enjoy it!” And he replied “I have enough teams come through here to have certain people and their gifts stick out to me. You have a special gift and I will talk about you to other teams that come through here. You should become a preacher.”
I was like whoa, hey God, I see you
My ministry host and I ended up talking about that for a few minutes more, then I walked away feeling so filled with love from God.
I prayed about it some more and then not even a day later my teammate Emma and I were in conversation about something completely different and she brought up her views on my preaching. She shared how she thought I should consider being a preacher.
At this point I was very aware that God was trying to tell me something, but I didn’t know completely what yet… and I still don’t.
I don’t know why God has given me all the gifts I have been given or the desires I have in life… but I trust that he will reveal them to me and that he will use them. Some are more obvious than others and some are easy to pinpoint the reasoning for… but others, like preaching, I am still praying about and seeking the Lord in.
Which is okay.
Many times in life I feel like as Christians we expect when God speaks to us that it will be completely clear but honestly that’s not super realistic. For some things absolutely it will be completely clear, but for other things it won’t.
And that’s okay.
As I end this blog I just want to pour into a few of you real quick… If any of you have ever felt discouraged in your faith or felt like God hasn’t given you any passions or gifts, I want you to look around you. Look at the things you are drawn too, the things you think about late at night, the things that have impacted you, the things that make you feel purposeful and then pray about them. Ask the Lord if these things are things he wants you to pursue or even if they are things that could be toxic. Take the time to really dive into your heart with God and when you do, he will reveal what he wants you to pursue or take away. God isn’t a magic potion but he is a God that is approachable and accessible when we need him, and we wants to help us.
Okay I’m done!
I love you all!!
Thanks for everything y’all have done!
****Prayer requests****
+ We travel to Nepal early early Monday morning
+ Sickness is hitting as we are leaving India in our squad
+ Continual dependence on the Lord as we walk into a new country with new needs and spiritual warfare
+ That our actions will stem from a place of humility and not from a place of pride
+ Focus on what we came here to do
+ That Jesus will be a powerhouse through us this next month
