Growing up, I told my friend when I was maybe 6 that one day I was going to be a missionary in Africa. At the time, I had no idea what I was talking about or even what a missionary really was, but I was determined that that’s what I was going to be. Since then, I have always felt called to pursue that passion of missions and dreamed of teaching abroad. I just had no idea what it would look like. And honestly, once I got a glimpse into the life of an actual missionary, I wasn’t sure if I was cut out for it anymore. I still don’t know if I am cut out for it, but I know my God is able to do anything, and I am honored to have a small part in His plan.
Years went on and I went on a few short term trips but I still knew that God had something more. I remember sitting in the library on campus, supposed to be studying, but I ended up on Facebook avoiding my responsibilities. At this point, I was probably a sophomore in college, and completely unsure of where I wanted to go in life or what I wanted to do. As I was scrolling through my feed I saw a blog post from someone on the World Race, so I started reading it. As I read, I was so intrigued by this trip. Immediately, I got this weird feeling in my stomach yet overwhelming peace. I felt that THIS was the trip the Lord had placed on my heart to go on. It was a feeling unlike any that I had felt before, but the peace and joy was undeniable. In that moment, I knew that this is what God had planned for me.
As I did more research, I found out that to go on this trip, you had to be 21 years old, and I was only 19. I was disappointed and discouraged because I thought this was for sure the trip God was leading me to go on. I began to look into other organizations and even began filling out an application for the gap year program and countless other trips through Adventures in Missions. I guess I thought that since God had just confirmed that He wanted me in missions, but I wasn’t old enough to go on 11n11, that I needed to find another trip on my own. As I was praying through this, God intervened my selfish planning and told me to wait, that it wasn’t my time yet, and to trust in His plan. I am so thankful that God’s plans are so far above my own, and His timing is perfect. Thinking back to what the Lord has shown me and how he has molded me since I was a clueless 6 year old girl, and especially these past two years, I would say I’ve learned how to wait for Him. Believe me, I still have so much to learn but I know that the Lord is working in me and preparing my heart for this next chapter of life.
Here I am, two years later, still not sure of what God is wanting me to do, but this whole time, God is reminding me to trust in HIS timing and HIS plan. And God has confirmed to me that now is the time. I am leaving for 11 months to go and “declare His Glory among the nations”. I will be sharing the love of Jesus in Nicaragua, Guatemala, Belize, Cameroon, Gabon, Republic of Congo, Nepal, India, Malaysia, Indonesia, and the Philippines and I could not be more excited. I pray that you will partner in this next chapter with me, through prayer or financial giving.
So, I’m letting go of all the things I thought I had planned for my life, all the goals I had, and my own earthy desires. I’m letting go of all the ideas of where I would be in 5 years, or even this next year. I’m letting go, and handing it over to my Father. I’m letting go because His goals, and dreams for me are far beyond what I could ever imagine for myself. I’m letting go of all expectations for this year, so God can far exceed them. I’m letting go of all the doubt and insecurities that I have about myself, and even this trip. I am far from perfect, but my Jesus is, so I’m letting go, so He can shape and mold me into the woman of God He wants me to be. I’m just letting go..
“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3: 12-14
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
