You know that voice in your head that likes to doubt you, tear you down and tell you you don’t matter? The voice that says your incapable, unqualified, unloved, alone, and worthless?
The occurrence of that voice is less and less the closer I get to The Lord but I still hear it on occasion.
The beautiful thing about living in community here is that I’m learning how to develop deeper roots with The Lord in a way I’ve yet to experience prior to this journey. The only way to grow closer to Him is to spend time with Him. One of those ways, and it’s becoming something I can’t wait to wake up and do, is being in His word.
This past week I’ve been reading in Exodus and when I was starting to hear that voice I picked up my Bible and started reading Exodus 4:13 (ESV) which reads ”Oh my Lord, please send someone else.”
You guys, this was Moses! Moses, the one who God used to part the Red Sea, the one God used to confront Pharoah time and time again to tell him to let His people go, the one who had the magic staff that did a plethora of miracles with God‘s power that The Lord gave Him, the one that led God‘s people out of Egypt…..Moses doubted himself. MOSES!?
And again in Exodus 5:22 “Why did you ever send me?” And AGAIN in Exodus 6:30 “How will Pharoah listen to me”….
I feel that God was revealing to me that He equips the called and that I’m not the first one who has doubted myself and felt unqualified. It’s the enemy that instills doubt, fear, and the feeling of being unworthy/incapable. Those are lies.
It showed me that throughout history God has called normal, average joes to do His will. He’s called people from all walks of the life. He calls the broken. He calls the sick. He calls the hurting. He calls the damaged. He calls the unqualified. Over and over again.
What a beautiful Lord we have who can and wants to reach anyone from any walk of life to change their hearts forever to do His will to share His love, His story, and His fruits of the spirit.
What a great Father we have who will reveal the words spoken from someone years and years ago who doubted himself too in just the right moment to show that I wasn’t and am not alone and God always follows through on His promises, always.
God is so very good and I can‘t wait to continue to learn from Him and see Him do the impossible through me and everyone around me.
Another fun tidbit about Moses being the star of the week is that the very next day my squadmates set up a “movie theatre“ with our dining area so we could watch the Prince of Egypt (such a good movie about Moses) AND that same morning in my team’s bible study we were reading ACTS 7 and Stephen recounts to the high priest the entire story of Moses exactly how Genesis does. WHAT!!!????
God is everywhere and as I continue to take steps towards Him He continues to blow my mind and the more I see Him in EVERYTHING!
So if you’re doubting yourself and feel unqualified just ask for His help because you’re probably right where He wants you. I believe He sometimes wants us to be in uncomfortable places and uncharted territory because that’s how we grow and have no other choice but to lean on Him. He wants to wow us and blow our minds. He loves us SO much! Even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like it or make sense. If you don’t yet believe or are angry at God, I’ve been there and felt that, and I know we all have our own walks with Him, but if I am sure of one thing it is that God is good and He has a plan, He wants what is best for each and everyone of us, and most of all He wants a realationship with us.
He doesn’t called the qualified, He qualifies the unqualified.
Also, here is my most recent video about the ministry we have been blessed to stay with and work alongside here in Montrouis, Haiti. it also stars the scariest spider I’ve EVER seen (Covers face).
