I’ve grown up hearing many things about refugees. I’ve heard about the refugee crisis in Serbia and how they are fled to Greece and Europe. I heard about the Palestinian and Israeli conflict and how they were alienated from their own country. I’ve heard and read about innocent people being forced to leave their countries due to war, corruption, danger, or the lack of freedom. I’ve heard these stories growing up and it always burdened my heart. My heart broke for these people and my soul cried in anguish at the thought of this happening all over the world. My compassion for refugees started at a young age, but the older I’ve gotten the more I would pray for them and ask the Lord to put me in the position to impact these people.
For the longest time, I struggled to blog about my experience in Malaysia. It was easily my favorite month and favorite country on the race so far. I’ve learned so much that I didn’t even know how to put it into words for a while. Now that I have just arrived in Costa Rica and I’ve been able to take a couple days to reflect, I’ve reminisce what really happened in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This past month, I worked in the front office for an organization called Dignity for children. Dignity’s mission is to provide education for the poor and underprivileged in order to break the chains of poverty. It’s a wonderful organization that I’ve been so honored to be able to work with. My job in the front office was to greet families at the door, answer basic questions, hand out registration forms, and organize paperwork. I was mainly in charge of helping with registration since their school year starts in January. Which meant that November and December were the busiest months. In those months, many families would come to register their child for the new school year. As I sat at my little foldable desk day in and day out I met so many families, mostly refugee families from all over. Many families came from Myanmar, but there were also families from Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Somalia, Bangladesh, etc! In my eyes everyday was an opportunity to share the gospel and share love to those who have endured many hardships. In this short month not only did the Lord open my eyes to see what He sees, but He also enhanced my love, passion, and heart for refugees. What started as an interest in refugees turned into a genuine love. In the front office I saw the Lord’s heart for refugees. Oh how our Father has a deep love and passion for them! Everyday He told me how much He loved them. Everyday He showed me how much they sacrificed for a new beginning, safety, and security for their family. Everyday He showed me how He wants to redeem them and their stories. Everyday He taught me how to love them. He showed me how He passionately pursues them daily and how He has pursued their peoples for thousands of years. I’ve already been fascinated and passionate about refugees but the more I spent time in the office talking with families, trying to learn basic phrases in Bahasa (the language in Malaysia) and Burmese, and playing with children from all over the world I realized how much I loved them too. I realized I loved them simply because the Father loves them. The Lord has revealed His love for them to me and in turn He grew that same love in my heart.
As the month continued the Lord showed me how to bless and love them more and more. For the first half of the month I was at the little registration booth. While there were no new families coming in I simply played with the children. My desk easily became a safe place for all the children there. Even though I didn’t know their language or where they were from necessarily it didn’t stop me from loving them. They came to my desk and soon enough my desk would be the place where I would play peek-a-boo or hide and seek or color with them or learn their language or teach them letters, numbers, and words in English. It became a safe place for the children to be who they are and experience Papa’s love for maybe the first time. It also became a safe place for adults as well. I had the privilege to talk to many parents and guardians. I explained the registration forms to them and tried to simplify some of the directions and rules into words that they might know in English. I asked them about their life, they shared things about themselves, and I shared things about myself as well. Many families, especially at first, were suspicious of me which is totally understandable. I would be suspicious of myself too if I was in their shoes. I’m an American coming to a closed Muslim country and wanting to serve and help others. To them, that was just a weird concept and I understood that. Although, they were curious as to why I was there. Their questions turned into a conversations in which they shared things about themselves, their life, country, culture, and language. God used my nationality as a way to share His love to both Malays, refugees, and people from many different countries alike.
On day in particular, a man came into the front office. His name was Nathan. After sitting there for a few minutes waiting to talk to the staff at the front desk, he turned to me and asked, “Did you eat your breakfast today?” I learned that in Malaysia eating is an important matter and for the most part it is the first question they ask as a way to start the conversation and be hospitable. From there a smile tugged on my face and love stirred in my heart. We talked about food and where the best places to eat. He told me about his life, family, etc. He mentioned that his wife had cancer and his daughter was taking care of her. It broke my heart on the inside to know that someone has to endure that. In that moment the Lord put it on my heart to talk to him about Jesus. I was unsure at first since it was a public place in a closed country and I was a bit afraid, but the next thing he said opened the door to the gospel. He said, “But I know through this the Lord is good and has a plan.” I was surprised and from there I was able to talk to him about the Lord. We had a beautiful conversation. It was in moments like that where the Lord watered the seeds of compassion and love in my heart for the refugees that walked in front office. I met so many women, children, and families those first couple weeks. I met little children in which I still remember their names. I got to teach English and show the gospel. I learned a little bit and their language and we would both get a laugh if I pronounced something wrong. I got to laugh, smile, make silly faces, and spread joy because of the joy that the Lord put inside of me. I was able to learn more about different countries, cultures, and peoples in general. I got to see Jesus in the staff that work in the front office. Even in times where I grew tired, I was inspired by the gentleness, peace, grace, love, and patiences that the staff had with others. They impacted me just as much, maybe even more, than I got to impact them. I was able to make friends with the security guards and the cooks too. Oh what a heart the staff, cooks, and security guards have! They showed Jesus’ love to me everyday and I couldn’t be more thankful for them! The way that they served, loved, and welcomed me as if I was one of them meant the world to me. It was amazing what the Lord did in the first half of the month! There at my little desk in the front office I got to give all these people our Father’s hope and they showed me the Father’s love too.
The next half of the month I was in the back of the office (which was pretty much a small walk-in closet) submitting the paperwork in the online database. The Lord did a lot in that small walk-in closet! Not only did He fuel my love for the refugees as I sat there typing in information about these children’s lives, but in that small closet the Lord showed me how to fight for these refugees with love. He showed me what it means to fight for my brothers and sisters in love. He showed me how to love with a purpose and what love looks like in action. As I sat there at the beginning of the day I would journal. I journaled a lot last month. From simply journalling the Lord would show up, comfort, speak, and show me new things. As I sat there typing in the information for the new students the Lord put it on my heart to do a couple things in particularly. He showed me how to fight for the refugees, staff, and everyone who came in the the front office. He taught me how to fight for them in love by simply playing Christian music…out loud. At first, I said I don’t know if this is a good idea Lord. I made up excuses about how it would be disrespectful or how it was a closed country and I didn’t know if I would get in trouble or how it would make me stand out more, but the excuses didn’t stick. They crumbled as the Lord flourished my love and desire for these refugees to know how loved they truly are. So, I obeyed. Everyday I played my Christian music out loud in my little closet with the door wide open so that everyone could hear. From there the Lord told me to sing. And not just quietly sing either, but actually sing normally so that it would be heard. Let me just preface, singing is not my thing so per-say. In fact I wouldn’t even call myself a singer by any means. I love to sing (alone), but singing, for me, is vulnerable. It is uncomfortable, embarrassing, and vulnerable. God, on the other hand, loves to work through the things we find uncomfortable and vulnerable. He loves to use what we think we are bad at and things we would never call ourselves and put it on our hearts to do that thing. That’s exactly how it was for me with singing. The Lord knew how vulnerable and uncomfortable singing was for me so He asked me to do it. And I did. I sang even though it was weird, uncomfortable, and quite embarrassing in my eyes. But the Lord delighted in it. He reminded me that stepping out into vulnerability and the uncomfortable for the sake of love is what it means to fight for the refugees who were coming into the front office. I sang because the Lord put a love in my heart for refugees. I sang because the Lord put a desire within me that all people from all nations would hear the gospel (Matthew 28:18-20; Mark 13:10; Matthew 24:14; Revelations 15:4; Revelations 7:9-10). I sang because the Lord asked me too. Then soon enough, I sang not only because of those reasons, but also because the Lord is worth all my praise and I no longer cared about what people thought of me or my singing ability since it didn’t matter. As I sang day after day the Lord spoke to me. He told me that this little closet that I dwelled in was my war room. He told me that He too wanted to dwell there and asked for me to make it a place where His presence can reside. He asked me to sing, worship, pray, journal, and write out prayers and Bible verses. I did exactly that. I wasn’t perfect, but I tried my best to obey. I wrote out short little prayers and Bible verses too. When writing them out the Lord put it on my heart to incorporate these prayers and verses into the walls…literally. I thought it was a weird request mainly because it’s never been on my heart to write things into the walls of rooms in order to purify the room for the Lord’s presence until I went on the race. Although, I completely understood why He put it on my heart to do so. He is Lord. He deserves all the praise, glory, and honor forever and ever. He is humble and meek to want to dwell with His people in the most unlikely of places: a little walk-in closet in the front office of a Muslim country. I grabbed some clear tape and taped all my prayers and Bible verses to the walls. I moved furniture when I could just so that I could physically infuse the Lord’s words into the walls. The Lord put verses in my mind and on my heart that I haven’t thought about in years. He put things in my heart to pray for that I never would have thought of on my own. And as I listened to His request He whispered to my heart. He told me that some would find these prayers and verses taped on the walls. Some people who would find these would know the Lord but others who didn’t know Him would find them too. I sat there in awe of the Lord’s reckless love, power, humility, and meekness. I was in awe of the fact that He even asked me to fight for these people by simply being a prayer and worship warrior in a closet. I was in awe of God’s unconditional never ending love for refugees and the fact that the Lord put that same love for them in my heart too. It was such a beautiful and incredible experience! I still don’t know who will find those verse or prayers on the walls. I still don’t know who will find the Lord in that closet. But I do know one thing: whenever someone would walk in the closet they could feel the Lord’s presence. I felt the Lord’s presence every time I came in there too. Every time I walked into that door I felt an immeasurable amount of love and I hope whoever walks into the closet now would feel the same way I felt too. Even though I don’t know how other people will get affected by the Lord’s dwelling place, I do know that it provided a lot of freedom and joy already to people who did come in there. At the beginning of the month, no one really came into the closet and it was almost forgotten, but then after the Lord placed me in there and asked me to make it His dwelling place I saw how the Lord drew in so many people. Staff would come in and out to give me paperwork or ask me questions, children would peak their heads in and dance at the sound of my music, the cook would come in and give me food that she made, teachers would come and learn how to insert information into the database. It was amazing how the Lord drew His people to the small closet!
In this past month I had made very close friends with some people who were refugees too. These people became more than people to me, but they became so dear to my heart. They became people I pray for, love, and think about often. I wouldn’t even consider them refugees at all…they became family to me. Whenever I was with them I felt at home. As a result of our flourishing friendship, Malaysia became my home away from home. My new friends and I would laugh, eat, play cards, do face masks, play frisbee in the pouring rain, etc. We made memories that I will never forget. Memories that will forever be stored in my heart. They shared their culture, country, cuisine, and testimonies with me too! Oh, how they loved and inspired me. They loved me with their whole heart and were such mighty men and women of Christ. Their testimonies, faith, and love for the Father encouraged and inspired me. Their extreme faith challenged my faith. They are such beautiful people and I’m so beyond thankful that the Lord put them into my heart!
Now, as I sit here in Costa Rica reflecting on all that has happened the past month I stand in awe. The Lord showed me His immeasurable love for refugees and He fueled the flicker of passion and love in my heart for these people as well. Actually, it kind of makes me sad to be in Costa Rica because my heart is so for refugees. I am so thankful that the Lord gave me an opportunity to work with them and be a light in the darkness. I’m so thankful to see the Lord’s big heart for people who sadly are sometimes forgotten. I’m so thankful that the Lord has put that love and passion in my heart. So much so that part of me is still in Malaysia and wishes that I was still there working with refugees. I’m thankful for the new amazing and lovely friends that I made in Malaysia. I’m thankful that the Lord showed me a piece of His glory and how He is using refugees too. I’m thankful for the Lord reminding me that He too was a refugee and therefore He has a deep connection with them that I don’t even fully understand. I’m thankful for the spark that He put in my heart that simply started as an interest and passion for helping refugees around the world. I know God’s not done with me yet and even though it was so sad and hard for me to leave a country I love, I also know that the Lord isn’t going to just stop there. He knows my heart. He knows I take after Him. He knows that I desire to work with them and be His hands and feet in their lives. I know that He will give me the desires of my heart in ways I won’t even expect. I know that the Lord is going to use this love and passion that I have for refugees to further enhance His kingdom. I believe He wouldn’t give me that love without using it for His glory in some way. I’m sad that my season of working with refugees in Malaysia is over, but I’m excited for this new season ahead of me as well. All I know is that Papa has a big heart for refugees. A heart that would cross oceans, endure the worst pains for, and run to the ends of the earth just to be with these refugees. And me? Well, I inherited a small part of His love for refugees too!
