Life isn’t about being successful, it’s about being fruitful.
Coming into Ecuador I asked the Lord what He would call this next upcoming season; the last season on the race. He stamped a name on each season of the race with careful intent and purpose. As I asked Him what He would stamp on the last few months in Ecuador He brought me to where I was reading in the Old Testament and gave me an analogy of this season.
Throughout the race the Lord has put it on my heart to read through the Bible in order, something I wasn’t particularly ecstatic about. Although, I eventually obeyed. It wasn’t until Costa Rica when I started being serious about it and reading from genuine longing and interest in the Lord’s words, even Leviticus too (which I quite enjoyed). If there’s one thing that has caught my eye in almost every book of the Old Testament that I’ve read so far is this common theme of first fruits. Especially in the Pentateuch (the first five books of the Bible), it mentions that the people of Israel had to give God their first fruits, literally. Whether that was the first and best part of their crop, wine, livestock, and even the first born was dedicated to the Lord. I sat in this confusion for a few months always wondering why the Lord always asked for His people’s first fruits. It wasn’t until He asked me to do the same that I finally started to understand.
The past few months I have been struggling and under quite a bit of spiritual warfare. Even journaling, something that I did often and I really loved doing, became a battle. So did praying, talking to God, and practically anything that would enhance my intimacy with the Lord. I was valuing and focusing so much on the fact that it was hard to journal, read the Bible, God hasn’t given me a dream in months, and so on. Then He gave me this analogy. He gave me His vision which was a lot different that what I was seeing. He said:
“Courtney, you are a tree. Just as a tree has different seasons of it’s life in one year so do you on the race. You’re on the race for almost a year and in this time you have different seasons as well. Remember my little one that seasons don’t end abruptly either. Just because most of my time isn’t spent rock removing or seed planting in this season doesn’t mean I’m not still doing that.
In Thailand, I was removing your rocks and tilling the soil. My dear, you had a lot of rocks and barriers that you built up against me. I had to breakdown those rocks and till the soil so that I can start fresh and renew what was broken inside of you. It wasn’t easy dear, but it was necessary in order to grow a healthy and fruitful tree.
In Malaysia, I was planting the seeds. You got to experience relationships in a new way, learn valuable lessons, learn things about yourself that was never revealed to you until now, and I was planting the seeds of my fruits in your heart. I was planting my love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control along with many other things in your heart so that you can be fruitful.
Then behold, open your eyes, for the harvest is now. It is now and Costa Rica was the harvest time. Not just in the people at ministry, those that you meet, and the people you impacted, but most importantly the harvest is now in your squad sweetheart. Do you not see the fruit of their labor? Your squad mates walking in their true identity, using their gifts for me, seeking kingdom, stepping out in faith, and so much more? Do you not see the fruits? Isn’t it beautiful, wonderful, good, and glorious? I know you see a desert land, a season of dryness, a time of testing, and spiritual warfare across the board for your squad, but I see a season of abundance!
And now, in Ecuador, you are entering a season of giving of your first fruits. That means surrendering all to me. Surrendering your gifts and talents, perspective, the ways that I speak to you, the ways that I use you, your dreams, and your values. Do you trust me? Am I still good? This is a season, my beloved, where I am preparing you for the next season of your life. I’m preparing you for when you go back home and that season I am calling the replanting.
You see my dear? You see all that I’ve been doing these past nine months within you and the church? I removed your rocks and tilled your soil, planted seeds, watched the harvest, and now I’m asking you to give me your first fruits. Do you know why I ask for your first fruits? Because when I grow a forest, a healthy forest, it needs to start with a good seed from a good and fruitful tree. Giving of your first fruits are up to you, but if you don’t surrender the best of yourself, all the I’ve done on the race, and let go of the little fruit you have so that I can prune you into a double portion what good does that do in your next season? How can I plant seeds in other people’s hearts back home if you don’t surrender your best fruits to me? How can I build my forest without seeds that will bare good fruit?
Lovely, I don’t need you to grow my forest back at your home, but I would love to use you. I would love to use your fruit and invite you into my plans. I would love to show you how I can plant a forest, my church, in the most unlikely and unideal places. You may see a desert, rocky, or dry ground, but I see fertile land ready for me to redeem and build my forest upon. You may not see the forest that I see yet, but do you trust that I, the farmer, know what I am doing? Do you trust me? You, my dear, are a tree and not a farmer. Yes, I will use your fruit if you let me, but it’s not your responsibility to grow that seed in others. When does a tree in real life try to grow another tree? It doesn’t! In the same way, you cannot grow yourself or others. Let me use your fruit and I, myself, will do the planting, watering, and growing.
You ask why I don’t send a flood of my love to you everyday all day long? When is it good for a tree to be flooded with rain? Doesn’t it die if it has too much rain? In the same ways as the tree, I don’t want to drown you in my love or my words. Instead I want to send my sweet showers over you so that you can soak it into the roots of your heart, dwell on it, and enjoy the little I give you at a time. Also know, Courtney, that even though I may not drown you in my love or words, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have access to my eternal never ending love for you.
My dear, you are a tree. I created you to be a tall tree in my forest; taller than the rest so that you can see when the rain comes, be a canopy top dweller (seeing the unseen; seeing from God’s perspective), be able to distinguish when the next season is occurring, and be closer to the sun; my son, Jesus Christ. And don’t forget dear that this is who I’ve created you to be. Do you know what a tree’s job is? A tree doesn’t flail it’s branches, or tells the clouds to open up its showers of rain and how much rain it should be getting, or trying to grow itself or other trees. No dear! A tree’s sole purpose in life is to be enjoyed and to worship. Do you see how the trees dance in the wind? They are praising me! That is what you were created for. You were created for my enjoyment, intimacy, and worship.
So, my love, what will you choose? Will you choose to let go of the first fruits that you so value and cling onto so dearly or will you trust me enough to let go, prune, and treasure your fruits and therefore giving you a double portion. What do you value more my love? The first fruits that you hold onto so dearly or faith in me? The choice is up to you sweetheart.”
After He revealed this to me it all made sense. Not just the fact that this season is the season of first fruits for my squad and I, but also why I’ve been struggling and why God also asked the Israelites to give their first fruits. I’ve realized that my whole life I’ve valued the wrong things. I put school, homework, relationships, friendships, work, finances, talents, etc on a higher pedestal than God. I valued these little things more than the Lord. I didn’t realize how damaging it was. I didn’t realize whatever you value the most is what you will define yourself as; it will be the basis of what you make your decisions on. If anything but God is valued more, then we are filling in the void and God’s place with something else. Then we are holding on too tightly to the fruits instead of the farmer who takes care of us. Then we are focusing on the wrong thing. We are focusing on what’s in front of us instead of using the authority that God has given us to seek a higher perspective; His perspective and be a canopy top dweller.
I used to think the best kind of life to live is a life of success, but I was wrong. The best kind of life to live is a fruitful life. Holding onto these few and little fruits aren’t worth it when we realize that God wants to give us more and in fact a double portion if we can just let go of our grip. It hasn’t been easy and I still struggle with letting go and letting God. Although, I’m learning a lot about this as well. I recognize that these next few months are going to be hard because it requires giving of my first fruits, counting the costs, and surrendering. The Lord, by His love and kindness, has allowed me by faith to let go of some of my fruits. And letting go of those little fruits were the best thing I’ve ever done. For, I have been able to witness a double portion in those fruits and watched how God uses them in ways I could never imagine in my wildest dreams.
So friends, what do you choose? What do you value the fruit or the farmer? What defines you? Will you choose to surrender your first fruits in exchange that by faith the God will give you a double portion? Or will you choose to white fist with a tight grip the fruit and the things you see in front of you? Either way, my dearest friend, the decision is up to you. Both requires risk and faith, but risk and faith in different things. I know for me I want to choose to give my first fruits every day. It won’t be easy and I know I’ll fail, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stop trying. So what will you do? Is the life that your living a successful one or a fruitful one?
