Have you ever played connect the dots as a kid? For me, connect the dots was full of mystery, anticipation, excitement, wonder, and sometimes, frustration. At first, all I saw were dots scattered everywhere with little numbers accompanying them. It was quite confusing, chaotic, and overwhelming until I slowly completed it step-by-step. There were times I traced it the wrong way, erased it, and retraced it again while the faded mistake still left a mark after being erased. Then there were times where I didn’t know how to drag the line from one dot to the next because it seemed so out of place. Yet, I still traced the dots anyways even though it didn’t make sense to me because I trusted that the maker of the puzzle knew the end result. And in the end, there was something so beautiful about being able to retrace the line through loops, erase marks, mistakes, and sharp edges because it revealed the masterpiece it was created to be. That is if the puzzle was hard enough.
If it was easy it wasn’t as much fun because I missed out on the anticipation, curiosity, focus, excitement, and wonder. However, what I always liked about those easy puzzles was the fact that it was free from frustration. Free from the process. Free from questions and making the wrong turns. That’s what I always wanted…a connect the dots puzzle that was easy because it made me somehow feel empowered and intelligent; like I knew everything! And I loved that feeling as a child because most things in my life I didn’t know or understand. So, whenever I had the opportunity to know and understand something I jumped on it. Although, that moment of satisfaction from completing it would only last a few minutes until I realized that it wasn’t fun, exhilarating, interesting, nor challenging because I knew what the picture was all along. What I thought I wanted wasn’t really what I desired. I was dissatisfied.
This is how I kind of think of our relationship with God can be like sometimes. Most times we just want to know the end result, what the picture looks like, or how to connect the dots because our flesh sometimes crave the feeling of empowerment or intelligence. Yet, at the end of the day, we realize that our wants aren’t always satisfying. When we are asking for the easy way, we are really missing out on learning, growing, discovering, and being stretched in the abilities God has already given us. We are robbing ourselves of our awe, joy, and depth in our intimacy with the Father.
If I’m being honest this season has felt like a never ending connect the dots puzzle that I haven’t even started. It feels like God has been constantly placing dots in my life that I don’t even know how to solve or understand. Sometimes the dots are so far away from each other that it doesn’t make sense to me that they are somehow connected with the same line. Yet, God is the maker of the puzzle. He knows what the masterpiece at the end of the line looks like. He knows each turn and rejoices in every dot. He even smiles at my mistakes because He has already taken those mistakes into account as He created the puzzle. To Him, He sees my mistakes as a mark that was erased, retraced, and left a faded line on the paper that only adds to the beauty and journey of the puzzle.
I’ve realized that I have been looking at it the wrong way. I’ve been looking at the dots and dwelling on it’s chaos, trying to figure it out, and being frustrated that I don’t understand, instead of rejoicing in the fact that the maker of the puzzle knows His own work and that’s all that matters. I’ve missed out on the joy of each dot. Each dot makes the picture more beautiful and the journey more exciting, challenging, and deep. Instead, I’ve complained and let frustration get the best of me sometimes. You know what’s the worst part of it all? It’s a mock to God’s creation. We are His masterpiece, our life is His puzzle, and He is the line drawing us closer to Himself and our completion in Christ. When we choose to do it on our own or the “easy way” we are simply saying that God’s masterpiece, the thing that He is most proud of and desires to show off, us, isn’t beautiful or enough. It’s almost as if we are saying that we can create something better than He can.
This isn’t a new struggle among humankind, this is something that has been around since the beginning. Even Paul knew this was a struggle for the church in Corinth. In 1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT, he encouraged the church of Corinth by saying, “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” We have to trust the maker of the puzzle and the one drawing the line: Jesus. For He is the only one who truly sees us now and what He will create us to be in the future. He is the only one who sees the complete image.
In Luke 5, when Jesus called his first disciples, it says, “When he [Jesus] finished teaching, he said to Simon, ‘Push out into deep water and let your nets out for a catch’” (verse 4 MSG). So Simon Peter “follows the line that Jesus had placed for him” so to speak. He catches so many fish that he can’t even carry it and then in awe he falls on his knees to the Lord and asks him to leave. But Jesus’ response is even more awe-inspiring than the miracle itself. “Jesus said to Simon, ‘There is nothing to fear. From now on you’ll be fishing for men and women.’ They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed him” (Luke 5:10-11 MSG). Wow what a statement! What faith! Peter left his past, the things he didn’t understand, his desire to know, and his insecurities behind in order to follow Jesus even when it didn’t make sense. The calling and invitation to a deeper relationship with the Father was way more important than anything else in his life or even the miracle itself. The miracle was amazing and awe-inspiring don’t get me wrong, but it was just the beginning of God’s invitation for Peter to step into his calling and allow God to connect the dots in his life.
This is how I want to live my life. I want to be able to drop everything in order to be in pursuit of the Father. I desire this for you too. Yes, it takes risk. Yes, it’s a challenge and uncomfortable. Yes, it means stepping into the unknown, letting the maker connect the dots, and be stretched in our faith. Yet, through all of the mystery, challenge, and wrestling, there is joy because just like Jesus taught Peter on that day, that’s what it means to push out into deep intimacy with the Father.
