God puts death behind you, He brings you fully ALIVE.
Death is in your past and life is the only thing to look forward to.
When you see God you see life, a life we have never seen before.
Gods a writer, He makes your story better, more profound.
Our story can bring others to the story of God.
Part 2: From Death to Life
I realized that I needed to volunteer with Younglife again but I knew my parents didn’t support me not having an income for a month so I signed up for the internship where I worked at the camp all summer, living in a house with people my age and pursuing Jesus. I applied for the Medical Internship and got the job! I remember my nursing advisor telling me what I was doing was pointless but I just ignored her and ventured back out to Oregon.
When I got to the intern house where I was going to be living I immediately had spiritual warfare for weeks, but I didn’t know that’s what it was until later. I couldn’t sleep and I was very closed off with everyone I was interning with. I had thoughts in my head saying “You’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough, you’ll never be pretty enough, look at all the people you’ve slept with and all the drugs you’ve done, look at all the times you got so wasted you blacked out, you’ll never be good enough for these people” but Jesus was on the other end saying “You’re worth it, you can live life with me, come to me, I have so much to show you on how to live a better life” it was constantly spinning in my head and I couldn’t handle it anymore. One night I went for a drive with a friend and got up the courage to share with her what was going on in my head. I came to the realization that I NEEDED to pursue Jesus and really dig my heels in and run to HIM. From that night on I chose to only listen to the TRUTH Jesus had for me. From then on I wanted to pursue the Lord with all my heart and just see where he would take me in life.
The Decision
As the summer went on a friend kept asking me to move out to Oregon and I thought it was the craziest idea for the longest time. I had so many roles back home, I was vice president of service on the student government board, I was on the board for student nurses association, I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF NURSING SCHOOL. For a while I just laughed at him thinking he was crazy. But one day I considered it. What would life be like if I just went for it and dropped out of school, quit my job and went where the Lord wanted me to go? So I went. I emailed the president and vice president of my school, and the director of nursing and told them that I was going to pursue life in Oregon. I got baptized (with the friend who convinced me to move) and from then on I have been on this journey with the Lord. It hasn’t been easy, I lost a lot of college friends but in reality I have gained so much more in life by moving. I got my Nurse’s Aide license and my plan was to start nursing school fall of 2016, I applied to one school thinking, “The Lord will get me in, I love this school” but Jesus had other plans. The program I applied for I needed a 2.8 GPA with math and science and I had a 2.79, so I didn’t get into the program and I had a little “early twenties” crisis. I was crying out to God “Is this dream I’ve had for 5 years nothing now? Do you still want me to be a nurse? What am I going to do with the rest of my life?” I felt like such a failure. The next day my friend posted on Instagram about training camp and the Race is something I’ve always wanted to do but never could because of nursing. This was Jesus telling me, “Here’s your chance, come travel the world with me.” So I applied in May, got accepted in July and here I am. Living a year of my life in full community, seeing the Lord in a different way, experiencing different countries and cultures and trying to soak up every minute of it.
This journey with Jesus hasn’t been easy, its been really hard. I’ve lost “friends” but gained even better ones. But He is where freedom is found, where your true identity is found, where you learn how to love well, where you learn how to live life always stepping into the unknown with confidence, learning to be uncomfortable and love it. Choosing a life to run after the spirit was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. Once I stopped caring about what others thought of me and cared more about the one who hold the stars in the sky and cares for my heart and mind, it made life more exciting! He has a life ahead of me that I can’t imagine, he is full of surprises. I’m excited and expectant of a life filled with the love and joy the Lord has for me.
And the story continues..
