The minute Kelsey [my squad leader] said “you need to go to the doctor”, I burst into tears. Not because I’m scared of the doctor or because I was actually worried about my foot. But because this was being made into a bigger deal than it was..I didn’t wanna go. Really..I was sure it was nothing…all I did was fall down a stupid step. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! I was perfectly ready to sit at ministry today, foot propped up, working on logistics.
Not so much. God was laughing, I’m sure 🙂
As I sit here now..in the Bolivian “hospital”…I’m processing what they just told me – I have a torn ligament in my ankle. I need a hard cast. Another x-ray in one week. We’ll go from there.
Initially it was “meh, okay, it is what it is.” Then it was…..uhhhhhhhhh. what about getting around?? I’m gonna be so slow!! Carrying my pack? It’s big and heavy! Traveling..we go to Peru in 5 days…I can’t run around the streets or with kids at our next ministry site. I’m gonna be on a bus for 2 straight days with this. I NEED TO DO LOGISTICS! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!!!!!
But…..amidst this all. I am so at peace. I know this was God-ordained. I know it was in His plan. I know this was no “accident” to Him. He is using this to teach me. To show me. He is in control. All blessings come from Him. Yes, I said blessings….I know this is gonna be a blessing in some way. It wasn’t in my plan. And I certainly could sit here and dwell aka FREAK OUT about all the circumstances. But the truth is….that will do no good. I need to rest in His plan..His promises…His faithfulness. No, my agenda didn’t have time for this and no, it definitely wasn’t in my plan! But it was in His. And that is what I should be living by, anyways.
These past few weeks I’ve been saying that I want to focus on being joyful regardless of circumstances. I guess this is the beginning:)
Last week Essie [our team leader] read a passage that stuck with me, and we re-touched on it this morning in team time, deciding it’d be our weekly memory verse…
“But blessed is the man who trusts in The Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it’s leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8
I must stay deep in my roots – grounded in Him and strong from the core. I must not fear when uncomfortable, unexpected pressure comes my way. I must remain green – alive, growing, full of life, vibrant, healthy. I must not worry when I feel I am lacking or waiting. I must never fail to be fruitful – productive, leaving behind good and advancing His kingdom in all I do.
He will bless me, regardless of my circumstances. And I will be JOYFUL through it!
