Sometimes, it’s really easy for me to believe in a God who is absolutely crazy about me. A God that loves showing off, and lavishing me with grace and goodness and surprises I didn’t even have faith to ask for. This has been one of those times.
And the irony is that it came after a period of time when I was really angry and confused with God. Maybe that’s more gracious than ironic.
We tend to think that questioning God is a bad thing. And maybe it is. But I think there is something beautiful about pouring your honest heart before The Lord. Yes, he is worthy of our worship, but he’s also worthy of our honesty. Jesus questioned God in the garden before the cross. And two of my favorite ladies, Mary and Martha questioned Jesus.
So there’s this story (John 12) about an Alabaster Jar. Mary comes to Jesus during dinner and pours perfume all of over his feet. She cries tears full of worship and brushes her hair along his dirty holy feet. It’s one of the coolest stories of worship in the Bible. Oh and did I mention that this perfume cost her an entire year’s salary? This chick seriously loved Jesus.
First and foremost, I think this story is about worship. But it’s not a sacrificial kind of worship; it’s an overflow of grace kind of worship. Just read what happened before this is in John 11. Mary and Martha told Jesus their brother, Lazarus, was about to die, and they asked him to come. But Jesus didn’t come. Lazarus died and then Jesus showed up. They asked him where he had been. They told him that Lazarus would have been alive if Jesus would have come when they needed him. Jesus asks to go to the tomb to see him, and when he does something amazing happens. Lazarus walks out!
The reason Mary could give Jesus her vary best is because Jesus first gave her her very best. She questioned Jesus’ goodness and basically blames him for her brother’s death. But instead of calling her faithless or telling her how great he is, he shows her. He turns death into life. He overwhelms Mary with goodness and grace to a point of tears and complete surrender of what the world calls valuable.
He answers her questioning with a mind blowing act of goodness that all she can do is worship.
It’s easy to see God’s goodness when things are good. The Garden was good. It showed us God as the Creator and the amazing gift Giver. But when you think about the ultimate sign of God’s goodness, it was the cross.
The best example of God’s goodness was dark and ugly and painful.
The death hurts and the tomb is dark and confusing. That’s why it’s okay to question God. Jesus told his disciples about his death, and told them to take heart he had overcome the world. He told them he would rise.
But you have to wait for the resurrection.
If all we ever saw was the garden, then we wouldn’t have a complete picture of God. Even when things were perfect, sin still came. We needed more. We needed to see God as our Redeemer. You’re life won’t be perfect. It won’t be easy, and it won’t look good all of the time.
But remember our God creates beauty out of ashes and lavishes the son that ran away from him. Maybe we don’t need more faith. Maybe we just need to be okay with amount of faith we already have. Maybe your trial is to show you a different side of God’s goodness. Maybe it’s time to ask for God to show you his goodness. Maybe you need God to worship God.
Maybe God isn’t too good to be true; maybe God is just too good to understand.
