Permission to do the impossible. That is what I feel is
needed. That is what I needed and received in September.
For the two years prior to the World Race, I lived in Africa
and served as a missionary teacher. I was serving God by using my skills where
I saw the greatest need meet my deepest passion. I LOVED it! I felt satisfied
and fulfilled. One day challenged that. I got involved in outreach to the
Internally Displaced People (IDP) camps, which I could see in the not so
distant valley near my African home. The outreach experience started off like
many others. I had given-up a day off during a busy term at a boarding school
where my responsibilities were much more then just a teacher. I planned to give
my all to these people… for the day! I would love them, I would feed them, I
would bring words of hope, and I would listen to their story. I would care.
Seemed like a great plan.
I never anticipated their stories penetrating the protective
outer layer I had developed around my heart. Living in Africa, I saw poverty face-to-face
often. For the world outside of the school gates, I had developed a “help when
you can� heart. When things seemed too big for me to truly impact I would do
what I thought I could to help and then let it go. The idea of taking on
everyone’s heartache seemed overwhelming. There was an abundant supply of
hurting, hungry, poor, sick, widowed, orphaned and worthy of help people. I am
only one person and could never really be able to make a difference among all
these people, so I helped when I could.
I went into the IDP camp with this attitude and their
heartbreaking stories would have likely been added to ‘those that I wished I
could have done more for and had let go of’, had it not been for one man’s
plea. While at the IDP camp, the pastor approached me and said, “ I see how you
are with the (teenage) girls; they respect you and look up to you. Will you
come teach them? We have problems with teenage pregnancy and AIDS. Will you be
their teacher?� My response (of course) was, “I can’t.� I already had a 7-days
a week job at the school and I could not neglect my students and my prior
commitments. My first excuse was acceptable, “but when you are done teaching
this year, will you come then?� Ah…Um… “ I am going home. I need to see my
family.� Again, acceptable, family is important in Kakuku culture as well.
“Then after you see your family, will you come then?� Now the excuses and
explanations became trickier. I could not just come back… how would I pay for
it? How could I be safe as a single American woman? And how could I (just one
person) make any real impact? After doing my best to convince him it would not
be possible, he looked at me as if he could not comprehend why. So I told him I
would pray.
Later that night was the first of many prayers that churned
my insides. I did not just pray a methodical prayer out of obligation. I
allowed my heart to open to these people and feel a hint of what God’s heart
feels toward them. Needless to say, I had trouble sleeping that night (and the
nights that followed), as I could not stop thinking, “Why? Why can’t I come?
Why can’t I do something?� All the while still feeling like it was an imposable
situation; I decided I would continue to pray for these people. Not just pray
for them, but PRRAAAY! And I did. For over a year, I plead on their behalf
before God, interceding for them. My heart ached with compassion, but remained
defeated by the idea that I could do nothing.
In September 2010, my heart was allowed to dream of the
seemingly impossible. I finally grasped that when your dream is God’s dream,
anything is possible and now my Kingdom Dream had been awakened.
I realize that, on my own, I cannot give all of these
families food, water, education, employment and hope; I’d be lucky to be able
to do any of that for even one family. These dreams that I carry for the people
living in these IDP camps are not just my dreams; I believe that God sees His
children’s suffering and desires a better life for them as well. He would take
great pleasure in seeing His children become self-sustaining and that is not an
impossibility for Him. (Matthew 17:20, 19:26, Mark 9:23, 10:27, Luke 1:37,
18:27, Philippines 4:13) The creator of the universe is capable of so much more
than any of us imagine.
So, you are given permission. Peel back the protective
coating on your heart, the “do what you can and let it go� attitude and allow
your heartbeat to sync with God’s. Then when it does, you have permission to do
the impossible!
