So many people have asked me what it was like to be on a team with one of my best friends the first three months of the Race. What it was like to lead her. I constantly get the "how did THAT work?" question. Which is pretty funny to me, but I guess there must be a reason people want to know so badly.
So here are all the answers to your questions, raw and unveiled. And not only answers, but a lesson to be learned, a story to be told. A revelation of the Father's love. So stick with me. 🙂
Let me start off by explaining this a little more. One of my best friends from the past 4 years of college, Meagan Kelley, and I ended up on G-squad together, and were put on a team together. The chances of this, by the way, are really, really outlandish if you think about it.
Let me also say, this blog has been in process for about 2 months now. I've been patiently awaiting for God to finally give me the words He wants me to share. And now, in this new season as she steps into leadership for team Ohana Lokahi, and I join team Spirit Roar, I'm finally able to put into words why I believe God has us together on this 11 month journey, and why we had the privilege of walking side by side on Team OIL for the first three months.
So here it is.
The truth is that at first, the idea of taking this journey together was a little intimidating for both of us. I can safely say that we were both ready for newness. To leave behind the old and step into more of the the fullness God has for us. To look more like Him.
To stop looking at someone & only see their mistakes.
…But how, exactly, do you do that when there is someone around who knows basically everything about you, the good and the bad, your faults and mistakes and shortcomings (and has been around for many of them)? How do you step into a whole new level of who you are fighting to be while walking with someone who already has expectations of you? Someone who knows your weaknesses and the not-so-shining aspects of your personality? How will they ever take you seriously?
Let me backtrack a second.
A few months before the Race, I was hanging out with one of my roommates on our front porch swing (oh, wondrous life in the South) when she suddenly looked at me and said something i'll never forget.
"You have freedom to grow with me."
At first, I looked at her like she was a little crazy, but then the meaning started to sink in…an awareness in my mind that began to seep into my heart, my soul, my spirit.
I had freedom.
Because of the freedom the Lord had given her to grow and change solely based on who He sees her as and not on the mistakes of the past, she felt burdened to extend that same freedom to me to grow in our friendship. She apologized for her heart and her actions, expecting things of me based on ways I've been in the past. Holding me to those standards rather than the ways I was growing and fighting to walk in the present.
Essentially, she extended me an an offering of love and grace, a freedom to grow without fear of discouragement.
As it began to sink in, I started to cry, knowing that it wasn't simply her voice I was hearing. I was hearing the tender voice of my Father, gently reminding me I no longer had to live based on who I've been in the past or on others expectations of me- but solely on who I am in Him, and who He is making me to be.
Fast forward.
Training camp- God had given me new eyes for the journey ahead of me, and a new level of love and appreciation for Meagan & I's friendship. To this day, I can't explain what happened exactly- it was simply just an overflow of the changes God was making in my heart. And during TC, I began to feel an overwhelming burden in my Spirit to release the same grace and freedom that had been given to me- to the one person on my squad who I already had expectations of.
So midway through training camp, I looked at Meagan and extended the life source that had been given to me-
"you have freedom to grow with me."
"I am no longer holding you to the things you've done or ways you've been in the past."
"You have a safe place with me to become the person God has called you to be."
And this invitation of freedom & grace is actually something God has been teaching me about His character as well. Because as I've studied Scripture…I can't help but notice that throughout His word, God calls people things they are obviously…not.
He literally gives new names to people who are nobodies.
People who are messed up.
People who fail again and again before they walk into their destinies.
…It doesn't make sense.
…It doesn't make sense.
One of my favorite examples of this in Scripture is probably Peter. The first time Jesus lays eyes on Simon Peter, he tells him his new name will be Cephas, which means "the Rock." And as we now know, this is prophetic of the fact that Peter would be the Rock on which the church was founded.
But think about it for a second.
Peter was a nobody. He was a fisherman, for crying out loud. And not only that, but the dude was no solid rock. On the night Jesus was betrayed, he not only fled the scene, but denied him not once, but three times. This guy, this guy who ran away in fear, and denied the man who he claimed to know as Savior, would be the solid rock of the church? The craziest part is that Jesus KNEW. He knew Peter would deny him. He knew Peter would fail or say the wrong things again and again throughout their time together.
But Jesus also saw something in Peter from the get-go that I guarantee this simple fisherman didn't see in himself.
He saw a leader.
He saw a person on whom He could build His church.
A person whose faith would change the world.
A person who would be so devoted to the cause of Christ, so brave and courageous, that he would be martyred for his faith.
Who knew?
After Jesus is resurrected and appears to the disciples on the beach, the first time he has seen Peter since his denial, he looks at him and asks him a question three different times.
"Do you love me?"
"yes Lord…you know that I love you"
"…then feed my sheep."
He doesn't say one thing about Peter's denial. He doesn't remind him of everything he did wrong. He doesn't tell Peter that He's changed His mind about letting him be the Rock of the church. He doesn't tell him he has lost faith in him or doubts his potential.
He simply extends Peter an offer of love and grace to walk into his destiny without having to walk in the shadow of his past any longer. Three times he asks Peter's love, symbolically restoring their relationship for the three times he denied him. Then Jesus says, "follow me!"
No looking back. No harping on the past. No treating or talking to Peter as the disciple who denied him. Instead, Jesus unwaveringly looked at Peter and only saw the person he was created to be, for the potential He knew was inside and that would be unveiled…to be the Rock of the church.
Walking with Meagan on the same team the past three months was a living example of that aspect of the Lord's grace towards me every single day. Despite where I've been, despite the difficult, hard, broken person I've been at times in the past…Meagan gave me that room and freedom to grow, especially as her leader. She saw me not through the filter of who I've been or not been the past four years, but solely through the Lord's eyes. She allowed me to stand strong in the new things God was doing inside me, without fear of discouragement or distrust in who I was becoming.
So to all the questions of how it was to do life with one of my best friends…the answer is- incredible. Absolutely incredible. It wasn't hard. It wasn't stifling. It was a key in the Lord continuing the process of setting me free to walk into my destiny. To be who I am without this constant, crippling fear of the past or others expectations of me. I just pray that I will be able do the same for her throughout the duration of the Race.
I say all this- of course- to tell a story, but now that you've gotten this far, I must confess there is also a challenge here…one I continue to push myself in every day.
...A challenge to set someone in your life free.
To decide to see someone through the eyes of the Father, to see their potential, and not see them anymore only in light of their past.
To stop looking at someone & only see their mistakes.
The ways they've wronged you.
The disappointment they've caused you.
The seemingly most stubborn aspects of their personality.
The improbability that they will ever change.
Be confident that His work in the people around you is not complete. (Philippians 1:6)
Stop viewing people through the lens of the way "they've always been."
If you truly believe that God can change anyone, that NO ONE is too far gone to walk into the destiny God has for them…set them free. Remember the way God chose you when you were a nobody, lost in your own ways…and remember how He redeemed you. The potential He saw in You. Remember how new His mercies are everyday. How He gives you the freedom to grow and become more like Him, even in the times you really screw it up.
You, my friend, hold the keys of freedom for someone around you. I guarantee it. Maybe, just maybe, expecting big things of people, rather than expecting them to stay entrenched in the old…will call someone to step up. Will give them the freedom they need to grow without fear. Maybe you have the potential to extend a much needed lifeline of restoration.
Maybe, just maybe…you have the key.
"…He is the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not." -Romans 4:17
P.S) Meagan, sister- I love you a lot. Thank you 🙂
