It’s month two of the race and all of J Squad (59 of us) are together at the Adventures in Missions Swaziland Anchor Center. My team and I are sleeping in our tents under a covering beside the main building where, unfortunately, millipedes and spiders like to live too. The weather has a mind of its own. One day it’s 98 degrees and we are all hot, sticky, and sweaty. The next, it’s chilly and we are back to wearing our wool socks. Because of the sporadic weather, dusty winds, and inhabiting the same small space as so many others I have gotten a sore, itchy throat and have lost my voice. It’s been a little painful and a lot annoying. It’s never fun being sick away from home, but I am starting to feel better. (PTL)
Our ministry this month is different every day. We have handed out Toms, taught discipleship lessons to the school age kids, played on the playground with the preschoolers, taught preschool, and helped the grandmothers (lovingly referred to as “go-go’s”) prepare rice and beans for the children.
I have loved being able to spend time with and catch up with my squad- mates. However, having so many people together means ministry is more spread out resulting in more “alone time”. (It’s practically impossible to actually be alone when there’s sixty other people on a small base in the middle of Africa) But I can’t even explain to you how thankful I am for this time. I have had some hard conversations with wise squad mates and leaders. Even more importantly, I have had time to have some difficult conversations with the Lord. I am learning that my heart needs healing too.
I have found my hearts truest desire is to have intimacy with Him, but I have so much junk I have piled in my life I haven’t been able to put my sole focus on Him. For a long time, I have ignored the mess in my life. It’s definitely way easier than confronting it head-on. I avoid the hard stuff because I’ve always been able to fall back on other comforts. On the race, most of those comforts have been taken away. To be honest, it’s scary to come face to face with struggles that I have tried to hide for years. But every day I am choosing to believe the truth that I am an heir of God (Romans 8:17) and that I have been chosen and appointed by Him (1 Peter 2:9, Isaiah 61). I have faith that no matter what I have tried to hide from Him (and even hide from myself), he will forgive me and love me through it (Psalm 34:3-5). I need to rid my soul of every lie I have been believing about who I am, and instead seek the truth of who God says that I am.
P.S. Swaziland is currently in the longest drought it’s had in some time. We have been constantly praying for rain, please add that to your prayer list as well!
