One morning I had lent my (borrowed) headphones to a teammate so I didn’t have anything to listen to my music with. And I’m living in a house with 12 other girls so not everyone always wants to hear my music. As I sat there attempting to have quiet time, I looked around and while everyone else in the room had their headphones in, I embraced the silence. We live in a house surrounded by trees and chirping birds. Yeah! Ok I can handle this silence business. It’s funny because on the race you usually put in your headphones to drown out the people and noise around you. Why do we drown out noise with noise? I’m not sure but it seems to work. Anyway, I decided to go out to the front yard to sit in a hammock for a few minutes. There I asked the Lord to speak to me. I tried to slow my thoughts and focus on him. Focus on what it was he wanted to say to me. After a few minutes, he gave me a vision. (I haven’t really experienced this before but I decided to roll with it..) In the picture I received I saw me. I was standing in a room. I started to spin around and as I spun, pictures started to appear on the wall. The pictures on the wall were all the moments in my life leading up to now. This very moment. When I stopped to look around I was able to see all the places I’ve been and how much I’ve grown into the women God is creating me to be. Then as I turned around one more time, there were two hallway entrances. The first hall was a straight, bright hall with blank white walls. The other hall was not as bright, wasn’t exactly straight and had pictures on the walls. They were pictures of all the plans and ideas I have for my future.
During the past few weeks I’ve been struggling with what I’m going to do after the race. Some of my teammates have been given clear direction of what God has for them at the end of month 11, and I’m just over here like.. “Okay Lord! I know you’re in control, but I’d really love even just the slightest idea… anything!” I know in my heart that he does have a plan for me after the race and that he will take care of me no matter what. But I am human and there are some days where the enemy likes to visit and encourage me to try to figure it out on my own. You know.. have a back up plan just in case God doesn’t pull through. Turns out you don’t need a back up plan with God! He told me this week! So this vision God gave me was exactly what I needed to see/hear from him. I will always have a choice. I can choose the hall that isn’t as bright, that isn’t as straight, and the hall that is full of my plans and ideas of what my future should look like. Or I can choose the hall that is bright, straight and full of blank walls. Yes they’re blank but that means there’s more room for God to work and fill with possibilities and desires of my heart. These walls will be filled with all the moments that the Lord continues to work through me and bless me because I have chosen to follow him. He knows me better than anyone ever could. He knows the desires of my heart and has created me for a purpose. He loves me more than anyone ever could and will continue to even when I mess up. He knew this is where I would be in this very moment.
I also think that he’s trying to tell me that he’s still working on things in me right now and that I need to focus on being here, where my feet are.
So as I sit here and reflect, I think to myself, why would I even think about choosing the way that has my own plans when he can see my full story? I choose his hall, I choose the bright hall. As I take this first step of faith into the hall of the unknown, He will be there with me. He has been this far! I have complete trust in him as he holds my future in his hands.
Walk by faith with Him. It’s better than walking alone.
2 Corinthians 5:7 “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
Until next time!
xo Court
