Is this really worth it? Sometimes I really ask this question and can't find the answer to it. For me, I've been asking this question and more. As you know I'm coming up on my next deadline and it's a weak point for me and Satan knows it…… So he plants these doubts in my head of, am I really suppose to be here….
Tonight, was my first time I'd been in a church service in two weeks. The church we went to was actually the ministry contacts of another team. One of the men from that team, Andrew led worship and WOW was the Holy Spirit present!!!! He plays a few songs and the whole time these thoughts and doubts are running through my head of inadequace, lack of purpose, doubting God ect
Andrew starts playing, "You're Never Giving Up" by Jonathan David Helser……
EXACTLY what my heart needed to hear!! To make it even better the congregation (mostly youth and children) take off in Spanish without Andrew in pure worship and praise! One of the most beautiful things I've ever heard in my life. It FILLED MY CUP TO THE TOP!!! We worshipped with a couple more songs after that and ended with, "How He Loves" by Mark McMillan……………. NOTHING and I do mean NOTHING is more BEAUTIFUL than a room full of people in total WORSHIP to our FATHER!! These people literally have NOTHING! and I'm worrying about something that I already know God is in control of! These people know what it's like to live TOTALLY TRUSTING GOD with EVERYTHING!! and I'm over here worrying about my next deadline?!?!? I don't think so! I'm COMPLETELY TRUSTING MY FATHER and His plans for me!
To answer my own question….. YES IT IS WORTH IT! It's worth it when these adorable dirty children are running down the street after the truck you are in and can't wait long enough for you to get out of the truck to give you a hug and a kiss…..then taking you off to go play….. it's worth it to give a family food for Christmas when they normally won't have anything and you'd be sitting in America eating so much food you can't button your jeans….. It's worth it to allow the kids/youth to take over worship in the service even though it's completely off key….. It's worth it to share Jesus with the nations instead of being home for Christmas….. It's worth it to not have A/C, normal food and hot water…… Bottom Line this is where God wants me and it's worth every second of every day to be out here working to add to the Kingdom of Christ!! I honestly can't see it any other way.
Love
Courtney
