Too often I get stuck in the comparison trap; especially when it comes to looks. I start to compare hair styles, body type, and gosh, even the way some girls do their makeup.
I think as a society we have changed the way people define beauty. We’ve made this switch from defining beauty as seeing the individual for who they are, to defining it by what we see in the media. Skinny, tan skin, perfect hair and makeup, and dazzling white teeth. But realistically, most of that is fake.
Do we want our little sister, daughter, or the little girl we babysit to grow up with the image of this as true beauty?
Do we want to sit by and watch as young ladies starve themselves so they can fit into a size 2 because that’s what America is telling them is real beauty?
Do we want to see girls hide behind makeup and fake tans because without it they are labeled as ugly?
It’s hard to see how much has changed since I was a little girl, running around the yard with my hair all wild, no makeup, and sometimes mismatched outfits; not caring what other people thought.
But somewhere, as the years went by, I slowly began to see myself differently. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see a beautiful child of God.
At first, what I saw was plain.
Then I saw an ehhh looking girl staring back at me.
Which then, as more time went by, lead into seeing myself as ugly.
I felt like the most ugly person to have ever walked the earth.
It crushed me; it changed how I acted. My confidence crumbled. I felt like no one was as ugly and awkward as I was.
Being built differently than the “skinny girls,” I looked at myself and the lies started to creep up telling me I was overweight; that I was fat. I didn’t look like all the famous people or for the most part, the people I hung out with.
I started to think there was something wrong with me, that I had a problem. And it only made sense that it was my fault that I was so "ugly." I mean it was my own body, right?
When this switch came, I no longer looked for God’s approval but the approval of all those around me. Looking to dress the way the “popular” kids dressed, act the way they did, and try to form myself into this person that was the farthest thing from my true self.
My heart was starting to turn.
It was becoming the thing that was truly ugly.
Wanting to leave all that I knew and act the way the world told me, I began to lose focus on what was important and was content with my faith starting to shrivel up. I got so wrapped up in what society told me was beautiful rather than diving into the Word and seeing what God calls true beauty.
Looking at the young ladies around you, or maybe even yourself, it’s probably pretty obvious that I’m not the only one who has struggled with this.
Honestly, sometimes I catch myself buying back into the lies that told me I was worthless, that I was ugly.
We assume that what we think and say only affects us personally. That is so untrue.
God created us in His own image. He molded us into the person we are today and calls us perfect because we are His creation. A wise friend once told me that, “You are perfect just the way you are, not because I say so, but because God says so…God doesn’t make junk.”
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:10
Seriously, we’re God’s workmanship, His handiwork. Just let that sink in a bit. God created us; He created YOU.
He knew you before you were even born. He planned out your whole life before you were even created, before time even existed. And what’s more, He created you in Christ for the good works He’s already prepared for you. He knows what’s going to happen; He’s the one in control.
I think today us ladies are too worried about how we look on the outside, rather than how we look on the inside. I’m not saying everyone is like this but if you really search your heart maybe you’ll find yourself in the same place where I tend to slip in and out of. To know that God created us in His image but then cut ourselves down with hateful thoughts, or worse, cut other people down. That just ain’t right.
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
1 Peter 3:3-4
Ummm…Your beauty comes from your inner self? Yeah, best believe that ladies because it says it right there in 1 Peter. A gentle and quiet spirit is of far greater worth in God’s sight than the newest MaryKay mascara you’re putting on each morning. Duhh ladies, duhhh.
I honestly wish someone told me this while I was growing up. Or maybe people did and I was too stubborn to listen because I thought I knew everything.
At any rate, I want to press this upon you. Don’t base your beauty and worth on what society is telling you is true beauty. Please, please, PLEASE listen to what God is saying right there in the Bible. He wants your heart. Your Heavenly Father, your Papa, has made you perfect.
God doesn’t make junk.
There are times where that’s hard to understand and accept when all I feel like is a worthless ugly troll. But I know that’s just satan placing tiny maggots in my head, and then once I start to listen to them, they grow into nasty flies, carrying around the lies into every area of my life. << Don’t know if that makes any sense. But for my sake, just pretend it does haha.
Seriously girls, I know you’ve probably all heard this time after time, but strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman. For me, I felt that phrase was always so overused and I seriously never even truly took the time to try and understand what that meant until recently.
So read it. Right now. I’ve even attached this link to make it super easy: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%2031:10-31&version=NIV
Ladies, this whole passage talks about the heart and actions. Not how much money she spent at Victoria Secret or Aerie. I kid you not; this is describing a woman who takes care of not only her family but of those in need.
“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”
Proverbs 31:20
For real, I am a complete mess sometimes and here this describes a woman who is taking care of a household and looking out for those in need. Seriously, it’s only because of God that this is even possible; trust me I know, I’m a girl.
If I could look each and everyone one of you ladies, reading this right now, straight in the eye and tell you that you are beautiful just the way you are and perfect in God’s sight because He made you, I would. However, realistically that’s not possible. So please, just listen to what Christ has said again and again. His words mean so much more than mine anyway.
You are created in the image of the most high King. You are royalty because you are His daughter.
Don’t EVER forget that.
Like I said earlier, what you are doing isn't just affecting you. Whether you realize it or not, you are setting an example for the younger generation. Little girls are looking at you and watching the way you act and listening to what you say.
Don't let them fall into the trap of thinking true beauty comes from outward appearance.
Set a good example.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
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